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We are just under a month until the WWE Royal Rumble PPV, and I must say, I'm really excited.
Anyone who has read my articles before probably knows by now that the Royal Rumble is my favourite match of the year, which makes the entire event one of my favourite of the year by default. I've already made my predictions for the potential winners of the Royal Rumble here.
Here, I'm going to create what I believe to be the most likely card for the evening. Additionally, I'm going to predict who wins each match. The only thing that I'm not going to predict, however, is the Royal Rumble match order, and for two reasons - the first being that I'm not sure how many women they're putting in their Rumble match, and the second being that there haven't been nearly enough people to confirm their entry into either Rumble match to feasibly predict who is coming out when.
Let's get to some predictions!
Pre-show Match #1: The Usos vs. Shelton Benjamin & Chad Gable (SmackDown Tag Team Championship Match)
Sorry to have to "slap the Usos in the face" once more, but of the two Tag Team Championship matches that I anticipate will be on the card, this one seems more likely to be on the pre-show.
On the last episode of SmackDown, Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin won a Triple Threat Tag Team match to become the new #1 contenders to the SmackDown Tag Team Championships, beating The New Day and the team of Aiden English and Rusev. They are scheduled to face The Usos on January 2nd, the first SmackDown of 2018.
So here's what I think - Benjamin & Gable will win the Tag Team Championships on SmackDown, prompting The Usos to invoke their rematch clause for The Royal Rumble. Over the next few weeks on SmackDown, the teams will trade victories in singles matches. One week, Gable will face Jey and Shelton will face Jimmy.
Another week, Gable will face Jimmy and Shelton will face Jey. Then, on the final SmackDown before the PPV, they each get a victory over a different tag team. Which ones, I don't know, but I digress...
So now the teams are evenly matched, and the match is underway. This match will feature a lot of awesome spots and several aerials, but unfortunately, will not end decisively. Instead, Rusev and Aiden English will interfere and attack both teams, starting with The Usos.
I say this for a few reasons - one, Rusev is one of the hottest acts in the company right now. His "Happy Rusev Day" shirt is currently one of WWE's best-selling shirts, and the chants of "RUSEV DAY!" are becoming harder and harder to ignore.
Two, this will allow WWE to keep both teams looking strong, namely The Usos.
Three, it will be the impetus not only for Rusev & English's face turn and Benjamin & Gable's heel turn (which they've already somewhat planted the seeds for), but it will also be the impetus for a mini-feud between The Usos and Rusev/English heading into Fastlane.
I would expect that The Usos will not be too happy at the comedy duo for squandering their opportunity to regain the gold.
Whichever team wins that feud best be ready for The Bludgeon Brothers, as WWE is clearly stalling with them so that they can really look strong over the next few months, kind of like how they re-introduced Braun Strowman.
Winners (by disqualification): The Usos (Gable & Benjamin retain)
Pre-show match #2: Enzo Amore vs. Cedric Alexander (Cruiserweight Championship Match)
Cedric Alexander is one of the better babyfaces on the 205 Live roster. He earned the fans' respect last year when he and Kota Ibushi put on an absolute thriller in the second round of the Cruiserweight Classic. Despite really poor booking, fans still want to see Cedric succeed.
And I believe that they will get their wish at the Royal Rumble.
So here's how it goes down - on the first RAW of the New Year, Enzo Amore will retain the Cruiserweight Championship by means of disqualification, as The Zo Train will interfere and attack Cedric. In the weeks to follow, Amore will continue to play dirty, making the fans hungry for his eventual comeuppance.
So, the match is set - Kurt Angle, who by this point is completely fed up with Enzo's nonsense, books a match between him and Cedric Alexander for the Royal Rumble, with the stipulation that Enzo will lose the Cruiserweight Championship if he gets himself disqualified.
Like most other Cruiserweight matches featuring Enzo, his opponent will do his best to make him look good for about 7 or 8 minutes. Around this time, the referee will be inadvertently knocked out. Enzo, sensing an opportunity, summons The Zo Train to help him beat down Cedric, until they're intercepted by... Tony Nese.
Nese, who hasn't been seen for a few weeks thanks to a beatdown from The Zo Train, lays waste to his former comrades, establishing him as a dominant babyface. When the ring clears of Daivari and Gulak, Enzo hits a distracted Nese with the JawdonZo and Nese rolls to the outside.
Enzo talks some smack to Nese from inside the ring, then runs towards Cedric, only to be caught and hit with the Lumbar Check. The referee gets up, counts to three, and Enzo Amore finally gets a taste of his own medicine.
Winner: Cedric Alexander
Match #1: Women's Royal Rumble Match
So this one's going to be a bit tricky...for one, I don't even know for certain who is going to be in this match, as only four women are confirmed participants as of this writing. Two, it's going to be difficult not to choose Asuka here.
But I'm about to.
Now, I can't really predict how the whole match will go, but I can at least predict some parts of it. Firstly, I am going to predict the one surprise entrant - Lita. I say this for two reasons: the first is that she recently came out of retirement for a match this past March; the second is that she was recently featured on WWE programming as a commentator for this summer's Mae Young Classic.
So the recency is there, the fan familiarity is there, even amongst younger fans, and she's a bonafide legend of women's wrestling...I'd say she's more likely than any other.
Now, here's how Asuka goes - so whenever Asuka enters the match, she starts to absolutely dominate. She's throwing girls out left and right (including Nia Jax), kicking people's heads off, you know...Asuka things. So once she's done throwing out each member of Absolution, Alexa Bliss arrives and eliminates the Empress of Tomorrow while she's not looking. Her reason is not to avenge Absolution; she doesn't like them either.
She eliminates her because she doesn't ever want to have to face her. Of course, this will eventually backfire, but anyway, onto the finish...
There are three women left in the ring and one still to enter. In the ring is Sasha Banks, Becky Lynch, and Bayley, three of the Four Horsewomen. The final countdown ends, and the arena goes pitch black. On the TitanTron, the words "Royal Rumble" appear. Suddenly, the letters begin to disappear until all that's left is "RR". Some new letters begin to fade in after each R, and it now says something completely different - Ronda Rousey.
Out comes the former UFC standout to a massive pop. A staredown ensues between the four women, and the fight is on. These women are beating the daylights out of each other, but Rousey is clearly establishing dominance over her adversary, Becky Lynch. She quickly dispatches her and focuses her attention on the two remaining women in the match. Sasha and Bayley attempt to double-team Rousey, but fail; Rousey is simply too strong.
She tosses knocks out Bayley, drops her over the top rope, and stares daggers at Sasha Banks. Sasha does not cower nor falter, and she actually does mount some offence against Rousey. Sadly, her efforts are in vain, and Rousey tosses Sasha out, becoming the first person to ever win the Royal Rumble in their debut match. She then stares down Charlotte Flair, clearly indicating that she's after her.
Winner: Ronda Rousey
Match #2: Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal (US Championship)
Though the US Championship Tournament is not yet over, I predict that this will be the final match. Bobby Roode will defeat Mojo Rawley, while Jinder Mahal will defeat Xavier Woods. I could've had Rawley vs. Woods for this, but frankly, I just don't see it over this one.
Anyhow, this match goes just about how any other Jinder Mahal match goes - a slow, plodding affair marked by nonstop rest holds. Naturally, the fans start to get behind Roode; not only because Mahal is the heel, but because they want someone to pick up the pace a little bit.
So he finally does and, despite distractions from the Singh Brothers, he's able to pick up the win and the U.S. Title, finally putting an end to the failed Jinder Mahal experiment. However, just as he's celebrating...out comes Dolph Ziggler.
Ziggler lays him out and holds the United States Championship over his head, saying something along the lines of "this is my championship!" Of course, somehow Baron Corbin will try to throw himself into the mix here, seeing as he never received his contractually obligated rematch for the championship.
Another triple threat at Fastlane? Ziggler vs. Corbin for the undisputed #1 contendership? We'll have to wait and see.
Winner: Bobby Roode
Match #3: Jason Jordan & Seth Rollins vs. The Revival (RAW Tag Team Championship Match)
The Revival made their long-awaited return to Monday Night RAW two weeks ago, and I could not be happier about it. They're probably the best pure tag team in WWE today, and I'd like to believe that WWE officials with my sentiments.
So, seeing as these two are absolute dynamite, they're going to become the #1 contenders to the RAW Tag Team Championships sometime after Jason Jordan and Seth Rollins finish up with Sheamus and Cesaro. This will likely happen soon, as the story thus far has been Rollins' unwillingness to partner with Jordan and they'll likely want to make them seem like a more cohesive unit.
But are they cohesive enough to handle the most cohesive tag team in the company? Let's find out:
The teams end up putting on a fantastic tag match, acting as somewhat of an answer to SmackDown's tag match from earlier in the night. The end of the match sees Rollins accidentally take out his partner and, as he's lamenting over what he's done, The Revival hits him with the Shatter Machine for the 1-2-3.
We have new Tag Team Champions, who've effectively silenced the cheering smarks by pinning a beloved babyface, and the first seed is planted for Jason Jordan's eventual heel turn.
Winner: The Revival
Match #4: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens (WWE World Championship Match)
They need to have a WWE World Championship Match at one of the biggest PPVs of the year. There are simply no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
On the last episode of SmackDown, the commentators were touting that this "may be the last time that AJ Styles and Kevin Owens face off". To me, this indicates that it is absolutely not the last time they will face off, and not by a longshot. And after the way the match ended, I can say with utmost certainty that these two are not done with one another.
So, I predict that Owens will get an opportunity at Styles' WWE World Championship at the Royal Rumble PPV, much to the chagrin of SmackDown Commissioner Shane McMahon.
Of course, on a PPV stage, these two are going to tear the house down. Anyway, my assumption is that Sami Zayn will attempt to interfere, but Shane will intercept it (much like what happened on SmackDown), and Owens will attempt to win uncleanly once again.
Only this time, he will fail. When he does, Styles will take advantage of Owens' blind rage and pick up the victory, retaining his title.
Winner: AJ Styles
Match #5: Brock Lesnar vs. Braun Strowman vs. Kane (WWE Universal Championship Match)
Why, yes - Kane is in a main-event feud in 2018. No, I don't understand it either.
All jokes aside, this match has potential to be a hard-hitting affair. I mean, how could it not be when you have these three in the ring together? While it won't be a technical masterpiece, it will do its job just fine.
As he does, Brock will take both Braun Strowman and Kane to "Suplex City," hitting each of them with multiple suplexes. Eventually, we'll see a brawl between Kane and Strowman exclusively, as I'm assuming Strowman will somehow take out Lesnar at ringside like he did at SummerSlam.
At some point, while these two behemoths are fighting, Lesnar will resurface and once again start tossing around 300-pounders like they're nothing. Following a brief kerfuffle marked by many suplexes, Lesnar will hoist up Kane for the F-5, and that'll be all she wrote.
Winner: Brock Lesnar
Match #6: Matt Hardy vs. Bray Wyatt
Think of this as a buffer match. You know, that match that they arbitrarily throw in after a big match to let you catch your breath before the main event? Yeah. That one.
Not that this match won't be good. Far removed - it's just that this is a much less prominent storyline when compared with others. Anyway, not much to say about this one. Both of them try to out-weird the other, you know...standard fare.
The end of the match sees Matt parry a Sister Abigail into a Side Effect, which he then follows up with the Twist of Fate.
Winner: Matt Hardy
Main Event: Royal Rumble Match
Here it comes, my friends - the main event.
Now, just like with the Women's Royal Rumble, I can't predict the exact entry order because not enough people are confirmed yet (only 3, as of this writing). But I can try to predict some things about it.
To begin, I think of all the surprise returns we may see in the match, Jeff Hardy seems to be a likely option. He went down in September with a rotator cuff tear, which usually takes around four to six months to heal.
If he's doing well with recovery, then he could definitely return for the Rumble, as that would be right at the four-month mark. Unfortunately, I don't think "Brother Nero" is going to win - just that he'll enter.
Moving on, I think that John Cena will enter the match as well, with the assumption being that he's going to win his third Rumble and tie Stone Cold Steve Austin's record, much like how he Ric Flair's World Championship record at the last Royal Rumble PPV.
When Cena comes out, he will obviously do well. He'll be throwing out mid-carders like there's no tomorrow, hitting signature moves left and right, and riling up the crowd big time. That is, until we hear the sound of a very familiar bell; one that we haven't heard since...WrestleMania.
That's right - it's The Undertaker.
What's that? You thought he retired? So did everyone else, but he's still got some left in the tank, and by Jove, he's going to prove it. And prove it, he does - he tosses out a few guys before staring down John Cena, who he begins to throw down with. While this is going on, Roman Reigns enters the fray. The three trade blows between each other, until eventually 'Taker throws out Reigns, getting revenge for last year's WrestleMania.
John Cena takes advantage of the situation, eliminating 'Taker while his back is turned (kind of like how Roman did it last year). This sets up a feud between the two going into WrestleMania, which I believe to be The Undertaker's curtain call.
"So, clearly, you're saying Cena wins, right?" Well, no, hypothetical individual. Allow me to wrap this up - the winner is going to be a member of the full-time roster. Specifically, a member of the SmackDown roster. They will win by last eliminating John Cena. But who could feasibly do that if Reigns and Undertaker are gone?
Shinsuke Nakamura. That's who.
He's already beaten John Cena clean, the company clearly sees him as valuable, and they've already teased a show-stopper match between him and A.J. Styles, so it only makes sense to give Nakamura the crown. Additionally, RAW can decide its #1 Contender in an Elimination Chamber Match in February, as it doesn't seem that Brock Lesnar will be appearing at that PPV.
That win will likely go to Roman Reigns, setting up the Reigns/Lesnar sequel that they've clearly been working towards.
Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura
