What has Goldberg been up to since he retired from in-ring action in 2004? What hasn’t he been up to?!?! He’s been up to so many things! Oh, the things he’s been up to... William “Bill” Goldberg is an ex-NFL player who kinda stumbled into unstoppable success in pro wrestling.
A powerhouse that dominated WCW with a trumped up undefeated record in 1997. He kept hold of that record for over a year and became one of the biggest names in pro wrestling, maybe even the world. He was the highest paid talent, along with Bret Hart by the time WCW was eaten whole by Vince McMahon in 2001.
He had a questionable run in WWE in the mid 20 aughts, before hanging up his boots to explore life outside of the squared circle. But the man is about to make his return to WWE next week, when 2K17 is unleashed upon us and if you pre-ordered it like I did, you get to play AS Goldberg. I’m not sure what that entirely entails, but if it means I can make my create-a-wrestler inhale sparklers and snort smoke, I’m all the way in.
Has he wrestled at all since leaving the WWE?
So what has he really been up to since leaving pro wrestling? Well, actually, wrestling. OK, yeah, it was just once and it was hardly for a packed stadium at Wrestlemania, but it was definitely a thing that happened with names you may recognize. Legends Of Wrestling hosted a show on June 7th, 2015, at Citi Field, where the NY Metropolitans play the base balls.
The Creature From Planet Goldberg helped his little buddy Rob Van Dam when Scott Steiner and Luke Gallows (seen above as “Doc Gallows”) initiated a beatdown on RVD. Goldie speared Steiner and then celebrated with RVD and said some stuff and it was ok, at best. If this had been at Shea I may have been tempted to go.
It was also around this time that Bill started cyber-training for his big return to WWE. He will now spear/jackhammer old enemies, NXT newbies and probably Julius Benedict in what I can only hope will be a Career Mode called The Expendables: MacGruber Edition. So yeah, he’s been wrestling since he stopped wrestling, but only digitally and once in human skin at a soulless sporting stadium.
He has made several media and TV appearances
In between his last match in WWE against Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania XX, and manifesting himself into Pre-Order form, Goldberg did some colour commentating for a handful of lesser-than-UFC Mixed Martial Arts events. I guess because he’s super well known for his insightful opinions and off-the-cuff riffing in his promos.
He got Punk’d by Ashton Kutcher on the hit MTV show and now I wish that show was still around so they could punk’d CM. Although the most exciting thing he did between 2004 and today was last six episodes on The Celebrity Apprentice.
He did business stuff and was in close proximity of America’s future president and the harbinger of Gytrash, Donald Trump. On the show, he was beat out by such business gurus as pop sensation Cyndi Lauper, super good looking chef Curtis Stone, and former WWE Diva Maria Kanellis. He raised zero money for his charity.
He definitely played Santa Claus in the delightful holiday romp, Santa’s Slay. I think it was about how Christmas was in trouble because not enough children could spell it correctly and the University Of The North Pole pulled financial aid from Santa’s toy shop so in order to make Christmas into a real boy he had to enter a wrestling competition where the winner got 10 million dollars and he found true love.
Goldberg's family life and philanthropy
Let’s see, what else has he done...OH! He got married and started a family and stuff. Soon after he left WWE he married Wanda, a stunt double (not his, presumably) and had a son named Gage. It can also be assumed that he ate many a meal during this time period, what with him still being alive and fairly jacked for a guy his age.
He got super into adult colouring books when he started to get jealous of all the fun Gage was having. There’s even rumour that he got a box of Crayola crayons tattooed on his lower back. This has not been confirmed but I how rad would that be?
Goldberg owns a gym in California, as well as like half the cars in his city, which is cool if you’re into being buff and having cars. I’m an overweight goofball who lives in Brooklyn so I don’t care about either of those things. But in a super cool move, he became a philanthropist, focusing on veterans by donating memorabilia and giving all the profits to Wounded Warrior in South Florida.
He also spoke to the United States Congress about how illegal animal fighting is super crappy, and he’s an advocate for the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, which is friggin’ adorable.
The Goldberg conspiracy
The most surprising thing Big Willy G has been up to, though, has to be that he has actually been wrestling in WWE the ENTIRE TIME. Remember earlier when I said he’s only wrestled once since leaving the WWE? Yeah, that’s an old writer’s trick called “lying” us professionals incorporate into our work sometimes.
Using a couple of James Cameron’s new filming techniques that have yet to be released to the public, Goldberg was in fact digitally disguised as...RYBACK. That explains the “Goldberg” chants that only happened at live events. The audience wasn’t seeing him through the RyTV lens, so they saw Goldberg returning for the first time in a decade, while us marks at home saw The Ryback. Sure, WWE tried to kill the rumours off through bullying and intimidation tactics (so much for being a star, Vince) but we all know the truth.
Think about it: there is undeniable proof that Goldberg eats enormous amounts of food, and Ryback can’t stop talking about being fed more. Neither have hair on the tops of their head. They both wrestle, and in a similar fashion. Ryback’s nickname as a teenager was “Silverback.” Goldberg’s real name is “Goldberg.” Goldberg, Silverback. Gold, silver. Silver, gold.
And possibly the biggest, most damning evidence that Goldberg is, in fact, Ryback is...
*cues Inception soundtrack*
...they have never been seen together in the same room.
Case closed.
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