"Hangman" Adam Page issues hilarious, yet important statement in response to COVID-19 situation

The past few days have been a horrendous time for the wrestling industry, with events being postponed and canceled left, right and center, and statements being released seemingly by the minute.

AEW star "Hangman" Adam Page has issued his own press release today, providing some much-needed light-hearted entertainment to wrestling fans everywhere.

Page's statement addresses that he'll be "taking necessary precautions" to ensure continued health and safety of himself and his fans. He stated that he'll no longer be able to accept beer from fans should they be in attendance of events, and that he'll be exclusively drinking whiskey "in hopes that the higher alcohol content will help stave off potential infection" in the statement.

The AEW star also confirmed that he will "avoid applying any wrestling holds that create close contact with opponents' faces, naming the belly-to-belly suplex, the mandible claw and "the thing he did that time where Frankie Kazarian spit on him and he licked it up and spit it back on him in an act of defiance" in the press release.

Page also gave a guideline for his fans to wash their hands, avoid touching their face with unwashed hands and avoid public gatherings, as well as encouraging them to buy a six-pack of Corona beer as they did nothing wrong, to indicate correctly whilst driving, consider the benefits of Medicare, and order pineapple as a topping on pizza.

You can read the entire statement below.