How it all began
The answer to why Shane is never on time doesn't come down to laziness, it actually comes down to passion. Unlike his sister Stephanie McMahon, Vince McMahon wanted Shane to earn his way into the business.
We first saw Shane in the 90s. He was firstly seen breaking up fights. He then attempted commentary, before settling into his role in The Corporation, followed by leading the Corporate Ministry faction. Shane-o-Mac, the “stunt man” guy, made his debut in 1999.
However, before he was on TV, Shane was made to work a number of lower level jobs, to earn his stripes. Shane would set up the ring, run errands and even clean up the building after the shows, to make sure his father would get his building deposit back.
But, the role he excelled in was selling merchandise. As a teenager, Shane was one of the main reasons Hulk Hogan and Hulkamania stayed on top of the WWE. Although Hogan wasn't the best worker, his merchandise sales were fantastic, because the teenage Shane McMahon could sell ice to Eskimos.
Be it Hogan’s bandanas, The Ultimate Warrior’s tassels, Bret “Hitman” Hart’s sunglasses or The Big Boss Man’s foam nightstick, Shane-o-mech would sell it all! Needless to say, Vince McMahon was delighted with his son and quickly moved him up the ranks.
Fast Forward to now
Shane has always maintained his passion for merchandise selling. Now Shane runs his own show, SmackDown Live, he has the opportunity to implement his incredible merchandise selling skills on a weekly basis.
Shane believes the role of SmackDown Commissioner goes beyond the talent on the roster and considers everyone working on the show to be under his jurisdiction. Therefore, this includes roster talent, referees, commentators, ring crew, cameramen, merchandise sellers and even the cleaners.
So while it is perceived that Shane is late for the shows, Shane is actually outside of the arena watching and motivating his merchandise sellers.
Also read: Why Randy Orton wasn't arrested for arson
But how?
For those wondering why you don't see Shane outside, our heroic source, Brave Scmeltzer told us, “Shane hides his identity by always bringing in the make-up artist Eric Bishoff used for Chucky & Billy's same-sex Commitment Ceremony on SmackDown, in 2002 (see video below).”
So, next time you're wondering why Shane is too lazy to get to the show on time, he's actually not. Shane is simply passionate about merchandise selling, and you could find him outside every Tuesday, dressed as a bald old man.
Stay tuned for more Kayfabe lies, as we completely make up stories to fill in the blanks, that the WWE writers did not.
Disclaimer: This is a satire piece and should not be taken literally.
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