The Challenge: CM Punk fights a football player

Sushi rolls and mustard blasts

As you can see, this challenge was action packed.

The first Challenge is not a strength or a puzzle challenge; it’s a test of “Ingenuity.” Camila does not understand what that means, or even how to pronounce it, so Jordan takes the team captain role.

The teams are tasked with wrapping themselves up with plastic wrap, just like a hot dog (more like sushi, though), then rolling through a course covered in mud, metal poles, and hot dog condiments. The Challenge is called "Tailgate Party" or something equally stupid. Since this isn’t a real sport and athleticism means next to nothing, the Champs steal a win, which means Punk is in the Elimination.

Here’s the part where I throw my pen and paper in the air and scream about how the only reason I’m writing this is going to get sent home on the second episode. I was quickly distracted by CM Punk and Bananas yelling at each other. Bananas wrongfully accuses Punk of failing at wrestling and correctly points out his failure in the UFC. Punk correctly points out that Bananas is just a fan and should probably shove it. Bananas is the Internet Wrestling Community of this show. No foreshadowing here.

Right away, the Pros pick Shawne Merriman to battle Punk in Elimination (not chambered), so now I’m frantically trying to think of ways to justify me covering this show once Punk gets obliterated by a giant linebacker and gets booted off the show. On the Champs side, Captain Jordan throws Wes into Elimination, and Wes, never one to shy away from grandiose, possibly really stupid game moves, straight up calls his mortal enemy Bananas out.

The rest of the team agrees that this will be epic since it’s the first time the two of them will face off in an Elimination and votes for Bananas to go in against Wes. Bananas looks like he wants to anger-cry, or maybe poop, but he’s definitely not happy. He hates it when things don’t go his way more than I hate "CM Punk" chants at wrestling shows.