The Challenge: CM Punk returns to television

Women’s Elimination: Ashley M vs. Veronica/Lolo vs. Candice

Always stare longingly into their eyes, before you choke the life out of them.

The Elimination this week is called “Pull No Punches.” Basically, you punch and kick holes into a wall and use the holes to climb the wall and ring the bell.

Ashley M gets a good lead on Veronica but falls before reaching the top. This doesn’t really matter because Veronica forgot to practise anything during her almost-decade away. Ashley scrambles up and wins, sending Veronica home. Sure, whatever, I’m fine with that.

Lolo absolutely smokes Candice, which is a shame because Candice seemed like a genuinely good person who just wanted to have fun and get money for her charity. Lolo doesn’t give a howdy-do about other people’s charities. She will most likely make the most enemies this side of the Champs who, may I remind you, are more or less terrible people.

CM Punk was barely in this episode, save making what was probably an oral sex joke, but maybe a cocaine joke. I’m gonna pretend it was a cocaine joke because that’s funnier to me since he’s straight edge and all. Hopefully, next week he gets more than 20 seconds of air time.

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