Letters to Kane
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While Undertaker may not be exactly like you and I, he’s still a loving husband and father, a wonderful son, a model employee, and a loving brother.
His relationship with Kane is a lot like The Cyclone in Coney Island: It has certainly had a lot of ups and downs, sometimes you have to wait in line for it, the whole time you’re thinking “Oh, I could actually die on this thing,” and it’s, uh, made of wood.
One of Under’s favourite pastimes is correspondence. It just helps him feel connected when he’s at home replacing his bones with those of fallen warriors and unlucky time travelling dinosaurs. His favourite person to write to is Kane, but before his death earlier this year, he wrote to Angus Scrimm of Phantasm fame a few times a year.
It was your typical fan mail, although there were more than a couple instances when he would inquire where to buy those little Gravers he was always running around with. Scrimm even wrote back, twice! Although the second one seemed to strongly suggest NOT writing him any more letters.
But he still writes to Kane! He tries to write once a week, sometimes twice. Through my research, I was able to track down Kane at his vacation home in Red Hook, and he showed me a recent letter he had received from his brother:
“Dear Kane, How are you? I’m good, a little sore from the gym, but hey, I’m still alive! Sorta! Oh man, have you seen Walking Dead lately? Soooo dumb, I hate Rick and his dumb kid so much. I really hope Daryl turns heel and Negan just Cactus Jacks everybody’s dumb, stupid head.
Glen’s eye made me LOL in real life, though! Anyway, Kaia’s bugging me for a ride on the Porcusnake, so I gotta bounce. Miss you, bro! Love, UT
P.S. Say “Hi” to Randy for me.”
It’s a nice peek into the mind of a normal family man, who may or may not have undead lightning powers. And possible connections to the devil himself. Also, Fred Durst.
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