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3. Focus on the in-ring action
Aren’t you sick of hearing $9.99 already? Or about “Vintage Orton”? It's also highly probable that the kids who tune into the product know of the word “polarizing” much before they are taught it at school - courtesy the repetitive and hilariously inept Michael Cole.
Michael Cole is full-mindedly bothered with dovetailing the “oomph” in the articulation of his generic descriptions with the impact of the move being performed. So much so that there are sequences in between a match that go completely unaccounted for.
Sometimes this is due to the incapacity of Michael Cole to come up with fluid and accurate technical commentary; a ridiculously difficult deadlift suplex to a 300 pound man off the second turnbuckle elicits little more than an off-hand remark about “the impressive display of strength” on show.
Other times, commentators like JBL are talking about the English Cricket Team. Famous for his Texan roots, I’m willing to bet my left sock that JBL hasn’t padded up once before in his life.
It is exactly this type of shenanigan that detracts greatly from the in-ring action and falls flat when one examines the incredulity of the situation. For the want of a suitable analogy, how awkward would it be if Ravi Shastri, for instance, plugged a WWE move out of the blue during a cricket match? (“He speared him like a tracer-bullet!”)
4. Cut out the blatant grandstanding Michael Cole, please!
One of the most frustrating aspects of the commentary team, primarily exemplified by Michael Cole, is the blatant grandstanding that he indulges in. Week after week, utterly sub-par moments are hyped-up shamelessly as historical footnotes in the WWE while the moments worth gesticulating about in full gusto are met with an inexplicable silence.
Kevin Owens is the latest buzz associated with the WWE and it’s apparent that he is here to stay. What followed his dragon-slaying debut on Elimination Chamber was one of the most intense and relevant promo segments involving him and John Cena in the fallout episode of Raw.
In a segment where both Superstars pushed the limits of Kayfabe, Owens with his “Super-Cena” reference and Cena with the Adam Rose and XFL retort, what is worthy of note is that John Cena walked into a really hostile audience reaction. Towards the end of his promo though, each and every word that spilled out of his mouth was being cheered wildly.
All Michael Cole could muster after this epic segment was one solitary sentence in description, “Ladies and gentlemen, that was an emotional and passionate John Cena” before he moved on to plug the next. Could an iconic moment be sold any worse?
Juxtapose that with how flagrantly R Truth was plugged as a “big game player” by the commentary team a while back, and praised for knowing how to get the job done in pressure situations. Of course, they had to do it to justify his inclusion in the IC Title Elimination Chamber Match, but when he has won a total of 2 non-major titles in his entire tenure in the WWE, even the most casual of fan feels insulted.
