Tips for strengthening self-validation that you can't miss

Self-validation is a process of recognising and embracing our emotions. We often seek validation and attention to feel good about ourselves. While this is typical, it also gives others the power to determine our worth. As a result, we stop listening to ourselves and don’t trust our own thoughts and feelings.

On the other hand, when you engage in self-validation, you accept your current reality with open arms. You build on your emotional resilience and also stop depending on others to boost your self-esteem. Remember that there is nothing wrong with asking others to validate your experiences. However, sometimes doing it yourself has more recognizable benefits.

You are always going to be worthy of love and care. Don't let others dictate it otherwise. (Image via Pexels/ Tom Mossholder)

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What is self-validation?

How you validate yourself also influences your mental health. (Image via Pexels/ Oleksandr)

Do you know the opposite of gaslighting and self-gaslighting? It is indeed self-validation. We live in a time where we value making the most of every second. Unfortunately, social comparison is a common theme in this race. As a consequence, we keep doubting our self-worth and often experience low self-esteem.

Self validation is a tool that helps you become emotionally resilient in this race. It helps you navigate everyday challenges with a greater sense of confidence and strength. Unfortunately, as we grow up, we are taught to be critical of ourselves and our performance.

While this can be culturally dependent, a lot of us derive our self-worth from our academic or professional experience. If we fail, we become too critical of ourselves and end up in a self-loathing hole.

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Tips for engaging in self-validation

There is a huge difference in loving yourself and being a narcissist. (Image via Unsplash/ Autumn Goodman)

Validating yourself and your experiences is a gradual process. Self-validation and self-love are often work-in-progress for many of us. While there isn't a 'perfect' way to go about it, here are a few practical tips that can help you out:

1. Acknowledging your emotions

One of the core principles of self-validation is acknowledging your emotions as they come. You learn to validate your emotions only when you acknowledge that they exist. A lot of us run in the opposite direction when we sense anxiety. We often forget that it is an emotion that has helped us since primitive times.

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2. Avoid social comparison

Love is also something that you experience within yourself. (Image via Unsplash/ Kelly Sikkema)

Social comparison is natural and we are trained to compete with others. However, it goes against validating your experience and emotions. A common line of thought observed in therapy is: "My experiences are not severe enough", "People are going through wars; my concerns are not significant enough!"

These thoughts stop you from acknowledging your current circumstances and how they affect you.

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3. Become aware of your needs

When you live in hustle culture and you express your needs, you may be seen as 'needy'. Invalidating your experiences also means that you avoid your needs and suppress them due to peer pressure. It is important to attend to your needs as they arise. These can be the need to look after yourself or to belong with others.

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Learning to self-validate is a challenging yet fulfilling journey that many take up. There is no timeline to start this. Anytime you decide to engage in it, it becomes the right time. Working with a mental health professional can expedite your self-validation journey.

Please note that our emotions also have muscle memory; the more you practice, the better you will get at it.

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Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.