Johnny Dangerously 2: Toast Protocol
Am I missing something here? Is a 5-bedroom house that much better than a 4-bedroom house? Everyone except Bryan and Brie, who are in the process of building a new home so they can start a family, seems to think so.
Nikki, who does not have children because her boyfriend said “no,” is telling a married couple how to raise their future children using square footage. Bryan, who has spent his entire life working harder than anyone else in the house, save Cena, gets dumped on some more by the whole family because he said Nikki wasn’t humble.
Am I the only one watching this show?
LAUREN! Lauren’s here! Quick, throw her into an awkward situation with Johnny Ace and let’s see where that falls. This is Lauren’s (aka Lola) first appearance on the show. Lauren’s backstory is she‘s JJ’s wife and she’s here for Kathy’s wedding celebration. But the real reason she’s shown up is to announce she’s pregnant! I like Lola.
She pops in, stares at Brie, who is trying desperately to get pregnant, and Nikki who’s not allowed, and is all like “Sup, bitches? I beat you and I’m not even a regular on the show.” Ice cold.
Nikki thinks that since HER surgery and JOHN’S surgery and, to a lesser extent, Bryan’s retirement, has been super stressful for the WHOLE family, her little brother being a dad is gonna fix everything. Here’s your Uncle ID card, Bry, hope you’re happy now!
After Wednesday’s Family Dinner Extravaganza, where Brie makes a toast to their differences and wishes all the families in the whole world could live in 20,000 square foot houses and have dinner together so that everyone would be happy, the boys and girls retire separately to their Cigar and Wine caves.
Johnny Ace wonders out loud why nobody eats dinner these days and Bryan tells Cena that he doesn’t think Nikki’s humble. Cena godfathers the situation by subtly threatening Bryan if he doesn’t give the answer he wants to hear, sends Bryan to bed, and toasts to “cranberry beer,” you know? Like a true Mafia Don.
