2022: Behold the future!

Cyber Cisse

Time-travel is something that never fails to amuse us. Always being considered scientific heresy, people are curious to find out if this is possible.

Well, Booyah! Here I am, writing my journal, but in a different period of time. I am in a different time tunnel, a tunnel you will be in in ten years. Yeah. Time-travel is possible. In four years, precisely 29/06/2014, a machine capable of indulging time-travel will be built. It will be a vast, energy-hungry machine. A machine creating a path through the fourth dimension.

You jealous, nerd? But this journal is more about sports, not wormholes or portals. You are not Sheldon Cooper.

Neither am I.

Let us talk about football, shall we? It is quite evident you are pretty curious to know about the future. The future I have already lived is one you are about to.

Football has encountered numerous changes, the most significant one being FIFA appointing a President who is sane.

FIFA implemented the new device to accurately rule a player offside.

Cristiano Ronaldo turned out pretty well. He won the Ballon D’Or three times before retiring. And, yeah he retired a Madrid player. Who would have thought? Right now, he is still single. When recently asked about what type of girls he would prefer, he said: A girl who is clever, intelligent, someone that just looks…pretty. That’s my type. I ­prefer girls who are normal to rich girls.”

Then after being asked who would be his perfect date, he said: “Cheryl Cole. “I’d like to take her for a hot chocolate,”

Talking about Coles, Ashley Cole of Chelsea is now more than a footballer. He is now a judge on the X-Factor, as the show’s producer went bankrupt, and Ashley was the only Cole they could afford. Chelsea, on the other hand have been trophy-less since they lifted their last trophy five years ago, the sole reason being FFP’s enforcement seven years ago. Since then, UEFA have been trying to encourage clubs to live within their means, i.e. not spend more money than they earn. Roman Abramovich has been forced to stay sane with his transfer dealings, oh and yeah, the club is being managed by Roman now.

Didn’t see that coming huh?

A photo Cristiano posted last night on the Internet.

You must be wondering where Neymar ended up finally? It was not Real Madrid, as Real Madrid had already acquired the services of Eden Hazard and Sergio Agüero. Yeah Chelsea and City fans, go to a corner and cry, they are leaving you. As for Manchester City, they couldn’t sign Neymar, as he never played for Arsenal. It is their new protocol.

Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson (YEAH HE IS STILL THERE!) never made a move for him. I don’t know why, I was too busy playing with Lego. Back to the story, he eventually joined FC Barcelona. Yeah, after two seasons of hypocrisy by the Barcelona board (which includes Xavi now!), the team finally signed the striker during the winter transfer season in the year 2015. Arsenal fans would be happy to know that Neymar’s son David Lucca has signed a youth-contract with Arsenal and will be training with them until he is old enough to join Barcelona. Wenger knows best!

Lionel Messi is still playing, apparently he is the captain now. Traditionally, to become a captain you have to display good leadership skills. He is the hub of the team now, and the majority of play revolves around him as pivot. Over time, that stereotype of the shy child prodigy of the group has been done away with, and what we finally have is a man who oozes confidence and talks crap when he needs too. A married life changes you. There were recently rumours of Xavi becoming the next manager, as a successor to Luis Enrique who has been an epic fail at Barca. The team are third in the league now, and are already knocked out of the Champions League.

Unlike the deals involving players like Zlatan Ibrahimovi?, the transfer deal of Neymar turned out to be a smart one for Barcelona, in a deal which made him one of the highest paid footballers in the world and cost the Spanish club €74 million.

Another Shrek movie was made, and not surprisingly Wayne Rooney had been given the lead role. The movie was directed by Ram Gopal Verma, who has made his directorial debut in Hollywood. The move turned out to be epic, and Rooney received critical acclaim and won several awards, including the Academy Award for Best Actor, the Golden Globe Award for Best Actor and the Screen Actors Guild Award for Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Leading Role.

Wayne Rooney is in there!

Moving on, Indian Football has evolved a lot. The world is getting smaller. More and more Indians are watching international football on their ‘Tele-Pods’, more Indians are playing overseas and more foreign born players are moving to India at a young age. The players representing the country are big names now, and the media and society are mainstreaming Indian Football at unparalleled rates. Stupid banter has been now replaced with civil, knowledgeable debates.

This was all possible because of the protocol agreement signed in 2012 by FIFA Secretary General Jerome Valcke and Praful Patel, President of the AIFF. Since then, FIFA and the Indian FA have been working together towards the development of football. The country will be featuring in the 2022 World-Cup which starts in just two months, and although we are not tipped as favorites, the odds against us are pretty good.

Well, that’s all I suppose. I will have to go to work now, and I am quite sure my jet-pack has been fuelled. I will continue the journal some other day. In the meantime you guys can put your queries about the future in the comments section.

Live Long and Prosper!