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Transfer season hasn’t even started yet and we sports writers are already drooling at the prospects of our teams getting augmented or losing unwanted baggage. However, there are a few transfers that just shouldn’t be happening, hence the list, in no particular order, I might add.
1. Francisco Román Alarcón Suárez (quite a mouthful, so you can just call him Isco)
I love it when moments straight out of movies happen on the pitch, like a team packed to brim and overflowing slightly with young, home grown talent taking over Europe. While the entire conquest is a mile away and perhaps out of their league this time, Malaga C.F. have shown promise, having qualified the group stage with the pole position after beating the likes of AC Milan, aka El Shaarawy, and Qatari Dinars at the Russian foreign exchange, aka Zenit St. Petersburg. And a player who really stood out from this new team on the block is Isco of the insane skills video fame, in which he took the mickey out of 4 of Valencia’s finest men at the back.
Who:- Just in case the video above wasn’t enough to convince you, the guy is a genius. And at just 20, he is undoubtedly one of the player to watch out for (the Liga BBVA officials agree with me on this one, he was, after all, rated as the Liga Breakthrough player of the year 2012).
Potential Buyers :- Manchester City for a €17 million transfer fee (Daily Mail)
Why:- The La Liga is indeed a two league horse, despite Real’s slump, but Malaga still have a decent chance at making a name for themselves as the underdogs at the Champions League, something which Manchester City certainly can’t offer. Also, his playing style is that of a Central Midfielder in an attacking role, and he should stick to Spanish clubs to perfect his style so that he can serve as a replacement for the aging Xavi Hernandez in the national team in the years to come.
Ideal Move:- Stick to Malaga, you either end up being really successful there, or if you don’t, your skill will soon be snapped up by the REAL giants of Spanish football.
2. and 3. Robert Lewandowski and Mario Gotze
Don’t accuse me of cutting corners here readers, both the players are from the same club and are being targeted by the same club, therefore, the deadly duo from Dortmund appear under the same heading.
Dortmund have indeed done a great job with their team. Having recruited all young and previously untried players seemed to work for them by some miracle, as they occupied the first rank in the ‘Group of Death’ in the Champions league, while besting the likes of Madrid and Money Bags Manchester.
Who:- If you are a Madridista, this section is unnecessary, you’ve already seen these two running circles around defenses, netting goals like the field is devoid of defenders and goalkeepers. Both are really young and are being tipped as potential Ballon d’Or winners in the future. And if you are a Manchester City fan, you know you got lucky once thanks to Joe Hart, but there is only so much the poor lad can do against these two.
Potential Buyers:- Manchester United for a fee between £40 million – £50 million (various sources)
Why:- After Borussia’s breakthrough in the Champions League, they look to be a full time member of the regular big wigs of the European, and even stand a fairly decent chance of going all the way. Their team is not only playing formidably, but currently looks like one that is every bit as good as Manchester United, and, fans forgive me, perhaps a bit better. It would be foolish for Gotze to move to Manchester like his ex- teammate Kagawa, who still hasn’t impressed much at Old Trafford. And while it would only be foolish on Gotze’s part, it would be abysmally idiotic on Lewandowski’s part to move to Manchester and compete for a starting spot with the in- form and instant fan favorite van Persie, not to mention Welbeck, Hernandez, and Rooney.
Ideal Move:- Ideal move you ask me? Don’t move, take your team to the heights. You’ve already achieved plenty of domestic success, announce yourself big time on the European scene and wait for glory and success to follow you with their tails wagging soon enough.
4. Wesley Sneijder
Unlike most of the young and relatively lesser known men in this list, Sneijder is the immensely popular and just as skillful ex- Madridista who is currently plying his trade at Inter Milan, for now, but that will soon change if things go Sir Alex’s way as he plans on going to Milan for a shopping outing.
Who:- Sneijder’s fame begs no introduction, but I’ll delight his fans with one anyway. The Dutch Maestro was one of the major reasons his country reached the finals of the World Cup, and remains one of the best midfielders of current times despite having brilliant contemporaries. Physically dominant and an all rounder (no reference to his baldness), Sneijder seems like the only injection Manchester need in their shambling midfield.
Potential Buyers:- Manchester United (although I think I mentioned that earlier), Free agent (Daily Mail)
Why:- At 28, Sneijder isn’t exactly young or adaptable. He already has his unique brand of football, something which may or may not fit in with Manchester United’s. Plus, if he does manage to repair the rift between him and Inter’s young and dashing manager, he could be back into the starting line-up, which incidentally, is showing a lot of promise. Also, Manchester deploy Rooney in a similar position, so Sneijder would be having the same dilemma of not getting a spot on the roster.
Ideal Move:- Patch up with your manager and get back to your playing and scoring ways. Otherwise, head to a team/ country with a playing style like yours, not one like the British.
5. Raheem Sterling
With another new season underway, Liverpool still appear disappointing. There is a pretty good possibility of them crashing out of the top 10. In fact, if they aren’t careful, they might just get the 19th (not the 19th title, I meant the 19th rank!). However, among the 50 tonnes of decomposition one can see at Liverpool, their young winger’s performance is still praiseworthy.
Who:- At 17, he is the youngest on this list (and, ironically, a father of 3 kids), but what he lacks in age related experience, he more than makes up with raw talent. He is reasonably quick on his feet, and has oodles of dribbling skill and fearlessness in his style of play. Surely one player Liverpool will treasure and attempt to keep for sometime, if he lowers his wage demands that is.
Potential Buyers:- Manchester City, undisclosed fee (various sources)
Why:- The reason Raheem should stick around Merseyside is obvious, playing time. If he were to move to Manchester City, he will become another Nasri and will be left to languish on the bench, and at 17, you don’t want to lose your precious experience gaining and style-altering times while warming the bench with your shorts which have come down a bit too often in the bedroom.
Ideal Move:- There is this dialogue from the hindi flick ‘Wanted’, allow me to quote it, “Is attitude ko kam kar, to bohot upar jaega, warna seedha upar jaega” (Lower your attitude and you’ll go really far in this line of work, otherwise, you’re going to go up and meet your maker). It applies to you Raheem, you’re just a 17-year-old who has had a few good matches, quit demanding like you won the Ballon d’Or and be happy with your pay package and spot in the starting IX.
And now for a few honorable mentions :-
Demba Ba – Newcastle’s performance haven’t been too inspiring, so a transfer wouldn’t be too out of place.
Theo Walcott – He deserves getting the position of his choice, and if his demands aren’t met, he should head elsewhere to achieve his zenith as a footballer.
Jose Mourinho- I kid, of course, but the volatile Portugese legend should stick with Madrid, he might just lead them to European glory.
If you disagree with any of my opinions, please feel free to comment, would love to pick your brain as long as you have one and it isn’t swearing at me. Follow our series of Daily Transfer Updates to catch more juicy gossip about the latest possible transfers. Thanks for reading!
