Axe Arsenal's Exes: this is where things turn ugly

Disclaimer- This post is the consequence of an Arsenal fan’s wrath. It should be understandable that sometimes emotions do get the better of one’s senses. The author sincerely apologises for any issues with the language used.

What the hell, just read the damn article!

Hatred is interesting, it comes from different places. Of all the footballers in the world, most are hated for betrayal, some are hated for their talent, and others are just thorns in a footballing team. Here’s taking a look back at some ex- Gunners (c*nts) for whom, just the thought of playing in front of the Arsenal faithfuls again makes them s*it in their pants (maybe shorts, subject to their being on the football field).

I wonder what Mr. Wenger thinks of them?

1. Ashley ‘Cashley’ Cole- An acrimonius transfer saga

In 2005, Cole made inappropriate contact with league rivals Chelsea over a possible move, without alerting Arsenal to the fact, in a case of “tapping-up”. Found guilty, he was fined £100,000 for meeting Jose Mourinho (the then Chelsea manager, a cu*t) and two other cu*ts from the Chelsea boardroom. Cole denied the allegations, later claiming that the Arsenal board had treated him as a “scapegoat” and that they had “fed him to the sharks” by not backing his version of events.The bitter situation ended when, finally, Cole refused Arsenal’s £55,000 a week offer and was offloaded to Stamford Bridge in exchange for William Gallas (a future c*nt) + £5 million. Later ‘Cashley’ recalled in his autobiography My Defence:

“I knew fully well that I wasn’t a greedy person. I didn’t go there for money”. Yeah right!


Wanted: Ashley Cole for crimes against football

The post transfer saga trauma!

2. Emmanuel Adebayor- The thankless Togolese wonder

The Big Ade, as he is fondly referred to, arrived at Highbury in 2006 from AS Monaco for £7million and left for Man City for £25 million in the summer of 2009. A decent piece for business, you say? Wait till you hear the end of it; an unsettled season at the Etihad stadium followed…

“You were nothing. We took you out of Togo, we bought you from the French. But Adebayor, you’re still warming City’s bench.”

The lanky forward didn’t leave on good terms. He accused the Arsenal fans of not being passionate enough and not respecting him enough. Whaaat? You left for £170,000 a week, you c*nt!

Manu's celebration against Arsenal

An unfortunate shooting incident happened in January, 2010 when Adebayor’s three bus-mates were shot to death in Angola during the African Cup of Nations. Sad, indeed but such passionate was the hatred against him, the Arsenal faithfuls were at it again. Another stadium chant was heard:

The Arsenal chant!

Subsequent loan spells have followed for Ade, who now plays at Tottenham Hotspur (Gunners’ fiercest rivals, not a very wise move I must say. Then again, that’s Adebayor for you !)

3. William Gallas- The mentally erratic French Hippie

The grieving centre-back arrived at Arsenal in a part cash-part personnel exchange deal with Ashley Cole from Chelsea (one rotten apple for another bad egg). After his toxic influence in the Chelsea dressing room apparently, it was now our turn to pay up. Gallas, evidently, single handedly (maybe Eduardo’s broken leg was also a factor, but anyway) tore Arsenal’s 2007-08 title challenge apart by showing his dissent on the field after a Gael Clichy error conceded a late equaliser in a Premier League match against Birmingham City.

Gallas' dissent against Birmingham

Irrespective of my age, I am c*nt personified!

Even with such an ‘adventurous’ past, Gallas was still not through with his antics. In many a person’s view, a club captain (yeah, did I mention that?) should be an example on and off the pitch, a motivator for colleagues, and inspiration to junior squad members. Perhaps that was what he had in mind when he publicly ranted:

“We are not brave enough in battle. I think we need to be soldiers. To be champions, you have to play big matches every weekend and fight.”

Mr. Motivator

Gallas was subsequently stripped off his captaincy (common sense prevails, finally). He ultimately left the club on bad terms and went on to join the Spurs (Arsenal’s dumping ground).

4. Samir Nasri- The unadulterated Frenchie c*nt

Nasri (then, a nobody) arrived at Arsenal in 2008 for £12 million, and was then labelled as another one of Wenger’s masterpiece signings. Nasri admitted that Wenger was one of the primary reasons for him joining the club stating:

“The fact that Arsène Wenger gives great opportunities to young players is very important for me. Arsène has a great reputation and he is one of the best managers in the world”.

Wenger's heartfelt words!

You know how there’s a saying about never trusting the words of a French footballer (maybe I’m hallucinating)? Well, Mr. Wenger learnt it the hard way. Nasri, after spending just two seasons with the Gunners, gave the man who taught him everything about top flight football, a kick up his arse. Refusing Arsenal’s £90,000 a week offer, Nasri signed up with gold-diggers Man City (a common obsession with Arsenal players) in search of better prospects for £165,000 a week at £25 million.

Arsenal faithfuls, though, didn’t take it very well (video proof)

Nasri didn’t exit with a whimper (once a nutjob, always a nutjob). He carefully chose his words:

“Highbury was a special thing that I don’t think will happen any more, but Arsenal have to make the Emirates their own home now and with their own cabinet of trophies to start all over again.”

Better prospects, eh?

Nasri's choice of words is as classy as his undergarments

5. Nicklas Bendtner- The egoistic Danish joke

The Big Nick (then a nobody, still a nobody), as he was fondly called, joined the Gunners as a part of the youth set up. The lanky forward took some time to break into the first team, yet his off-field antics always managed to feature in the tabloids whereas due to his attitude towards the game, he never realised his potential on the field (Wenger always overestimated him). Not exactly an Ex-Gooner yet (currently on loan at Sunderland). Some lowlights of his Arsenal career:

(To be noted that the events get more embarrassing with the timeline)

May 2009- Dropped! Nicklas Bendtner’s pants

Read the front page of every English daily after Mr. Nick here had to be escorted out of a London nightclub Boujis. Apparently, the 6ft 2in Dane was getting his drink on till 4 am in the morning after Arsenal’s humiliating defeat in the Champions League Semi-Final (apt occasion, you have to say).

Is that a bird? a car? Nah, that's just Nick's Armani underpants!

August 2011- Biting the hand that once fed you

After confirming his loan deal with Sunderland, Bendtner launched a scathing attack on his ex-employers:

“After my car accident (he blew his driving lessons too) I never really got the chance to earn a spot in the first team. I will never go back to Arsenal. If I can have it my way, I will never play for them again.” (nobody wants you anyway, s*ithead)

Bendtner's car crash

P.S., Mr. ‘Bend it like Bendtner’ hasn’t just got through with his dramatics. During his loan spell at Sunderland, he has been involved in a bizarre drunken pizzaria incident (apparently he begged two young girls to pay for his pizza) and a car wrecking spree (arrested on suspicion of criminal damage).

Test results have already proven Bendtner to be superhumanly confident, but this proves that he is actually the anti-Balotelli. Instead of “Why always me?” Bendtner asks “Why not always me?” And then he pesters strangers for money so he can buy a pizza shop to prove a point.

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Edited by Staff Editor
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