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Irresponsible. Hapless. Appalling. Nauseating. Need I go on? This game between Barcelona and Bayern Munich is likely to be talked about for years.
Barcelona conceded five, six, seven, and eights goals for the first time in Champions League history as Bayern Munich tore through the very fabric of what used to make the Catalan club great. While historians may not entirely agree, most supporters of Barcelona will acknowledge that this is the worst day in the club's history.
Barcelona looked clueless right from the get-go as Bayern Munich methodically murdered every ounce of self-respect that the likes of Johan Cruyff and Pep Guardiola have so meticulously established over the years at Barcelona.
Barcelona has been a shadow of its former self this entire season but this historic defeat paints the club in a horribly mediocre light. The fact that this is the only sentence in this article that mentions Lionel Messi is a testament to Barcelona's failure and Bayern Munich's inimitable domination.
The game got off to a frantic start as Bayern Munich got on to the scoresheet only four minutes into the game with Robert Lewandowski setting up Thomas Muller for the opening goal. Barcelona found an unlikely source for an equaliser after David Alaba gifted the Catalans some impetus with an own goal.
Bayern Munich quickly smashed the wind out of Barcelona's sails, however, with two quickfire goals in six minutes. The Bavarians tormented Barcelona with their pressing and Thomas Muller added a fourth before half-time to sprinkle more salt into the Catalans' festering wounds.
Joshua Kimmich took the initiative for the German champions in the second half and latched on to a cross from Alphonso Davies, who left half of Barcelona's miserable defence in his wake. Robert Lewandowski added his customary mark to the proceedings with a typical poacher's goal.
In a cruel and arguably hilarious twist of irony, Philippe Coutinho scored two goals in the final ten minutes to show his parent club exactly what they are missing. Barcelona's pack of cards has finally crashed and burned and while Quique Setien is likely to be the first victim, it remains to be seen how much of the club's board and squad survive the inquisition that this apocalypse is likely to cause.
#5 Flop - Sergio Busquets, Barcelona
Sergio Busquets was one of the oldest players on the pitch today and it showed. The Barcelona veteran was taken apart by Bayern Munich's work-rate and was a mere spectator from one of his side's most important positions in the midfield. Barcelona counts on Busquets to control the tempo of the game and the veteran midfielder was utterly dismal in the middle of the pitch.
With Barcelona enduring arguably the most horrid scoreline in its history, Sergio Busquets may well be phased out of a club that has effectively shot itself in the foot over the past few years.
Busquets was unable to gather his bearings today as the likes of Thomas Muller and Thiago Alcantara ran rings around him. The midfielder was replaced by Ansu Fati in the second half and has only himself to blame for his catastrophic showing against midfielders who have effectively snatched his crown.
#4 Hit - Leon Goretzka, Bayern Munich
Before singing praises of Leon Goretzka, a review of the players he edged out of this list would do justice to the German midfielder's machinations in the middle of the pitch.
Alphonso Davies relentlessly outclassed Nelson Semedo on the flank and his mesmerising run in the second half will surely haunt Barcelona for months to come. Serge Gnabry assisted Bayern Munich's second goal before leaving Gerard Pique in his wake to score the crucial third.
Neither player, however, could match the near-impossible consistency that Leon Goretzka displayed in the middle of the pitch today. The Bayern Munich man was the sole engine room of his side and did not put a foot wrong against Barcelona's midfield.
Goretzka was unfortunate not to pick up a goal or an assist today and was one of the best players on the pitch. The Bayern Munich star has been a sensation since the Bundesliga restart and Barcelona's midfield never stood a chance.
Also Read: Barcelona's Bayern humbling seals an unwanted Champions League hat-trick
#3 Flop - Sergi Roberto, Barcelona
Barcelona midfielder Sergi Roberto was absolutely massacred in the first half against Bayern Munich and looked completely out of his depth against the Bavarian press. Roberto struggled to keep the ball in Barcelona's midfield and barely played a part in the Catalans' build-up play.
Sergi Roberto foolishly gave the ball away to Serge Gnabry in the first half and Barcelona paid the price as Ivan Perisic lashed his shot into the back of the net. The Catalan midfielder was taken off at half-time after a dismal showing and will be disappointing performance.
There was much speculation about Barcelona's starting eleven and formation prior to this game. It is safe to say that Sergi Roberto did not do himself any favours with his performance against Bayern Munich today.
#2 Hit - Thomas Muller, Bayern Munich
'Raumdeuter' is arguably the only word that can be used to describe Thomas Muller and today's game is the perfect testament. Thomas Muller was magically everywhere on the pitch and his intelligence and work-rate choked the life out of Barcelona's superstars before they knew what had hit them.
The German forward set the tempo for Bayern Munich with his opening goal and scored his side's fourth to put the game to bed in the first half. Muller teased and tormented Barcelona's defensive shape with his movement and picked up yet another assist for Barcelona loanee Philippe Coutinho late in the second half.
Thomas Muller's renaissance under Hansi Flick has been nothing short of spectacular. The German has excelled in his free role at the club and has established himself as a Bayern Munich legend.
#1 Flop - Marc-Andre ter Stegen, Barcelona
While analysts will continue to dissect this defeat in the coming weeks, it is evident that Barcelona's stunning implosion resulted from its sheer inability to play past a suffocating Bayern Munich press. The Catalans rely heavily on Marc-Andre ter Stegen to serve as their twelfth outfield player and the German shot-stopper's ball-playing abilities abandoned him today.
Had Bayern Munich been slightly more efficient with its finishing, the result would have been a cricket score. Ter Stegen gave the ball away on several occasions in the first half and needlessly put enormous pressure on his Barcelona teammates in his own penalty area.
While the German star could do nothing to stop most of the finishes, his mistakes played a massive role in Bayern Munich's dominance on the pitch. The Barcelona goalkeeper had the worst outing of his career today against a Bayern Munich side that refused to let him breathe.
With Manuel Neuer carrying out his duties with consummate ease at the other end, Ter Stegen's push to be Germany's first-choice goalkeeper is now a thing of the past.
Also Read: Twitter explodes as Bayern Munich humiliate Barcelona 8-2 to reach Champions League semi-finals
