#1 Lionel Messi- Ain't no hex that the sorcerer can't wreck

It is just plain criminal, mate. It is not even funny anymore. We need to get geared up and we need to get this man in a lab. Or get him in a room. Bring the plyers and the tweezers and the whole lot because Leo Messi has some explanation to provide.
Jokes aside, when you come to Barcelona, there are two golden rules you gotta follow to the T. The first is that you do not afford Lionel Messi an inch of space.
The second rule is that you DO NOT AFFORD...
What was that again? Not scored against Chelsea in 8 meetings or something? Good, tell him that. Tell him about all the things that he can't do so that he can make a list and strike em out one by one and laugh at all of us and look absolutely adorable while doing it.
This was just vintage Lionel Messi. Doing the unthinkable, nutmegging Courtois from 8 yards away with a sweet strike with his right foot. He then rocketed past Christensen and Alonso before drawing the bloody lot of them in towards him only to square one to Dembele to set him up with all the time and space in the world so the youngster could cherish the night too.
Even Messi's 2nd goal of the night was down to his incredible movement, both off the ball and on it, as he whizzed into the box with a swoosh-shaped trail before once again poking mullock at Courtois with yet another shot through the legs.
It was he who was the difference between the two sides across both legs. He was directly involved in all 4 goals scored by Barcelona- scoring 3 and setting up 1- as they won the tie with an aggregate score of 4-1.
It's not always entirely true but then tonight it could have just been one of those (not so rare) 'Stop Messi, stop Barcelona' nights.
I can't even...