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Is there anyone you know who you think may be struggling with depression or perhaps that person is you?
If so, you have likely seen how it complicates daily life and how it not only affects the one with depression but also everyone around them. Depression is emotionally painful to see someone you love being in pain but you're not sure how to help them. Relationships aren't easy, so loving someone with a mental health diagnosis can be even more of a challenge.
People with depression tend to talk themselves down and wallow in their feelings of self-hatred and hopelessness, convinced that they are undeserving of love. Depression builds walls around people, letting a lot of emotional distance between you and your loved one.
How to Cope with Depression in Relationship?
Depressive disorder affects relationships in many ways. It often causes people to withdraw from their loved ones, which causes people around them to become frustrated, as they can't help.
On that note, here are six tips for coping with depression in a relationship:
1) Acknowledgement
There are many misconceptions around major depressive disorder. For instance, MDD is not merely the outcome of weakness or laziness.
The suffering of your loved one might not just be mental. There's no justification for depression. If you don't know much about depression, educate yourself to dispel stereotypes and stigma.
It's crucial to acknowledge your loved one's emotions and experiences related to this very real illness from a medical perspective. Make aware that depression can be treated, just like any other illness.
2) Seek Professional Help
Treatment of MDD may help you and your loved ones feel better about yourself and your relationships.
Medication, psychotherapy, or a combination of both can be effective. So can lifestyle changes like getting more exercise or eating healthier food. However, you must be willing to stick with the treatment for it to work.
Treatment is a process, not an end outcome. Remember that you're not alone in the process, and professionals can aid in the recovery.
3) Don't Take It Personally
People with depression may act in ways they typically wouldn't under regular circumstances.
They might become irritable, agitated, or withdrawn. They might not be as keen as they once were to get out or do activities with you. These issues are not personal, nor do they imply that your loved one no longer values or cares about you. These are signs of a condition that has to be treated.
4) Demonstrate Your Love
A person suffering from depression may find themselves feeling burdensome and unlovable.
Speak out, and demonstrate your affection for your loved ones to help them proactively combat negative thoughts. Let them know that you love them and that you're aware of how their depression is influencing their thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Let them know that you're there to help them on their path to recovery.
If you're going through this experience, tell yourself that you need the support and love of the other person.
5) Seek Social Interactions on a Spectrum
Depression makes it difficult for people to experience love, so it's not uncommon for them to push away the people who love them the most.
If you want to reconnect, try not to push yourself or your loved one to go on social events that don't seem right to you. You might both want to visit a friend, but it takes too much work to shower, dress up, and go to a restaurant.
Instead, you can think about asking your friend if they would be fine with a takeout night at your house. Or perhaps you can check in with a friend every day to chat about your day. To prevent you from doing nothing, give yourself manageable-sized bits of interaction.
6) Keep Sharing
You need to stop the internal dialogue that tells you not to bother your loved one or that you feel too ashamed.
Give your partner the go-ahead to speak to the part of you that values and loves them as much as your connection. Your partner might make some recommendations, but you might be tempted to reject them all.
However, it's a good idea to keep the lines of communication open by informing them of the suggestions that appear most feasible for you. That also applies to your partner. The bottom line is to keep sharing.
Takeaway
Using the aforementioned tips, you can continue to reach out and support each other.
You should do that because you're connected to them, and you love them. After all, one of the most beautiful and powerful things in life is true human connection. Nurturing this connection can help you find happiness even in the darkest of times and help you restore what depression has taken away.
Even if you have a mental health concern, you don't have to let it ruin your relationships. Talk with your partner about what's going on with you, and reach out for help from a therapist or support group. People who love you want to see you get better, and they will stick by you through the ups and downs of recovery from depression.
Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.
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