How to explain Queen Elizabeth II’s death to children? Grief expert shares tips

How to explain the Queen
How to explain the Queen's passing away to the kids? Grief experts share tips and valuable information. (Image via Getty / Peter Macdiarmid)

With the passing away of Queen Elizabeth II, one of those moments has occurred when grown-ups are finding ways to explain to the younger lot what happened to the monarch. As the little ones knew Queen Elizabeth as “the nation’s grandmother,” a lot of teachers and parents have been finding ways to explain the tragic death of the Queen to children.

This also becomes tougher to understand for those kids who have never seen or experienced a death in the family. At the same time, in such situations, it also becomes crucial that parents and teachers handle the situation well so that the bewildering and perplexing emotions in kids do not come up.


Is there a particular way to tell kids about Queen Elizabeth’s passing away? Tips by grief experts explored

Grief is one emotion that can be felt by every living being on this planet. Therefore, if informed in a sensitive manner, the news of the death of Queen Elizabeth can be explained facilely to young students. Speaking about the same, Bianca Neumann, head of bereavement at the bereavement support charity, said:

“Children can experience all sorts of fears following a death, and they may worry that they or other people they’re close to will leave them or will die too.”

While experts feel that loss is natural and very normal; experiencing the loss of a monarch is a collective issue for all kids. Parents and teachers can use these tips to ensure that kids perceive the actual situation without being too traumatized by the news:

1) Use the word “Dead”

A lot of parents and teachers form a habit of cooking up stories about someone’s death like, the person has gone to God’s arms, or they went to sleep. However, experts suggest that parents should be careful about what language they use. Hence, direct words like “death,” “dead,” or “died” must be used so that kids understand what happened to Queen Elizabeth. Speaking about the same, a grief expert said:

“Some parents might use words like ‘loss’ or ‘gone’ or ‘they went to sleep’, but that can bring confusion, or even fear around children’s own bedtime.”

2) Encourage questions

As adults, we have access to a lot of information. But it is crucial to understand that these little learners just have teachers, their peers and parents to rely on for answers. Hence, while breaking the news of Queen Elizabeth’s death, parents and teachers should ask whether the kids have any questions.

Grief expert Neumann also talked about how kids can feel isolated and frightened if their questions go unanswered.

3) Do not overload them with information

It is a great practice to inform kids and bring them the correct information. But, overloading them with information about Queen Elizabeth’s death can lead them to a situation where they might not be able to handle such big news.

Hence, it is best not to complicate things and speak with factual details and answer only to the point. Remember that the main idea is to clear their doubts, and not make them burdened or stressed.

Grief expert Duckworth said:

“It’s really important to have child-friendly explanations. And it’s OK to say, ‘That’s a great question, but I’m not sure – I’ll get back to you with the answer.’”

4) Emotions are okay

Experts suggest that parents and teachers should not hide their emotions. It is a way to tell the little ones that it is fine to grieve and be sad over the devastating news of Queen Elizabeth's death. The expert also shed light on the matter and said:

“It’s OK to show you’re upset and to cry – this shows the child it’s OK for them to have the same emotions.”

5) Look for the positives

While it is important for parents and educators to inform kids about the news, it may be a good idea to end the discussion on a lighter note so that the child is not negatively influenced. For this, grief expert Duckworth suggested:

“It’s important to celebrate the Queen’s life – what are the positive things about her life for your child? It could be looking back at things like the Jubilee and things children enjoyed about that, or maybe things they’ve heard about Queen Elizabeth.”
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How did Kate Middleton tell the kids about the Queen’s death?

It can be tough for kids to understand complex topics like life and death, especially when the children are as young as those of William and Kate. Hence, Kate Middleton made sure to tell her three kids - Prince George, 8, Princess Charlotte, 7, and 4-year-old Prince Louis the news first, before they heard it from someone else.

A source close to the royal family said:

"Kate didn't travel to Balmoral to be there for the children. She gently spoke to Prince George, Princess Charlotte, and Prince Louis about Elizabeth's passing at Windsor prior to the official announcement.”

Talking about the children and grief, the source also claimed that the discussion was not easy for Kate as the kids had a lot of questions and overall, it was a challenging and difficult conversation to have.

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