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The kiss my arse segments were not great to watch! The world of professional wrestling is peculiar. Pro wrestling is not a sport, it is pre-determined, but it is not fake, rather the bumps and injuries (in most cases) are very real and the industry is dangerous.
However, wrestling is rejected by the world of sports for being fake and hoax-like. Quite on the contrary, I feel wrestling combines multiple elements of storytelling -- think soap operas, with athleticism á la sports and you have, in theory, a fantastic product for the masses.
In some cases, the result is amazing. Other times, well let's find out when it was downright uncomfortable:
#1 David Arquette
The moment WCW died. There is no coming back from David Arquette -- C-list actor winning your world title in a tag team match to promote a pathetic film (ready to rumble) -- it doesn’t make any sense. Arquette didn’t like it, but unfortunately, Vince Russo did.
Maybe I should dedicate a slide to Russo but that wouldn’t do him justice, besides there has to be a word limit and with Russo, I cannot adhere to one; I digress. Right, David Arquette pinned not even champion Eric Bischoff in a tag team match and ended up the WCW World Heavyweight Champion. You have to feel for the guy because he knew the fans would hate it.
Arquette donated the money he earned to the families of Brian Pillman and Owen Hart, but it wasn’t enough from saving it from becoming a wrestling a joke in the eyes of all. WCW was a bigger joke than Ready to Rumble itself and that is saying something.
#2 Donald Trump vs Rosie O\'Donnel
While the Donald Trump and Vince McMahon feud was entertaining and unique, this 'feud' was just an attempt by WWE to be pop-culturally relevant (that never works out, does it) and the idea came up due to the Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnel slamming each other in interviews over a very real beef back in 2007.
Vince, ever the opportunist, capitalized on the situation, bringing in impersonators -- an overweight 'Rosie' and 'Donald'. Predictably, the feud was a disaster and really never had any heat. The fact that they had a match shows just how out of touch Vince is. A wrestling match that involved a lot of rolling but no real action and was boring.
It is perhaps the ultimate indictment that during the match, the fans chanted 'We want wrestling' and for 'rival' company TNA, denouncing what was put in front of them and rightfully so.
#3 Hornswoggle becomes the Cruiserweight champion
The cruiserweight championship had a rich lineage of champions. Under the WCW banner, it became a star attraction for the Nitro shows at the peak of the company with illustrious workhorses like Eddie Guerrero, Rey Misterio Jr., Psycosis, Juventud Guerrera and other high flying masters of the ring holding the title.
Even in the WWE, when the division was launched, Rey Mysterio led it and it was entertaining. The likes of Paul London and Nunzio had something to do. High Flyers who didn't have the 'WWE look' got a place on the card for themselves. Of course, Vince McMahon's obsession with size meant that the division was soon forgotten about and rendered obsolete.
In 2007, Chavo Guerrero defended his title in a multi-man open invitational match. Hornswoggle became a participant by virtue of running through the ring while the bell was being rung and at the climax, he would hit the tadpole splash and pin Chavo to become WWE Cruiserweight champion.
That's right, a midget leprechaun became champion, held the title because WWE thought it was funny (spoiler: it wasn't) and eventually, the title was deactivated with Hornswoggle as the final champion. WWE ruined an entire division for a half-hearted and pathetic attempt at humour, and it was embarrassing.
#4 Judy Bagwell
Judy Bagwell was Buff Bagwell of WCW fame's mother in real life. After Buff came back from a serious injury to a great amount of fan support, he was turned heel, obviously because of late WCW blunders. Back to the story, Judy was brought out by Rick Steiner to give a scolding to Buff who was feuding with Rick's brother, 'big poppa pump' Scott Steiner.
In spite of the obvious stupidity, it could have worked. Instead, Judy began appearing more and more as time went on, accompanying Rick to the ring for his matches. When Rick Steiner won the tag team titles on his own (STUPID), he decided to choose, over all of the over 200 wrestlers employed by WCW, Judy Bagwell as his tag team partner.
That's right, Judy Bagwell was one-half of the WCW world tag team champions, at the age of 50, without ever wrestling a match and with zero experience. For an industry trying to be taken seriously, this was just 10 steps in the wrong direction.
To make things further worse, Judy Bagwell would become a prop soon after the infamous Judy Bagwell on a forklift match as Buff-faced Chris Kanyon.
#5 Kiss my Arse Club
Vince McMahon has a huge ego. He booked himself to win the WWF and ECW world titles and also had a 'kiss my ass' club. Yep, for real. The first time, with William Regal begging for his job as commissioner, made sense as it fit Mr. McMahon's ego. But, it did not stop there.
Vince being Vince decided to do it again and again and again and the fans hated it. Not as heel heat, but as straight up 'we do not want to see this' heat. McMahon said he would often fart in the entree's face several times before they kissed his rump -- that is downright gross.
Honorable inductees include Shawn Michaels, ShaneO Mac Jim Ross and Mick Foley, no one wanted to see this but it gave Vince a kick and we had no choice. Vince couldn’t let it go and thus the owner of a multi-million dollar company made guys kiss his bare ass, hardly the best way to sell your product as something serious.
Yet another example of Vince pushing his own wants onto the audience despite how bad it made everything look.
#6 Vince McMahon VS God
Vince McMahon has a huge ego. He booked himself to win the WWF and ECW world titles. But, that in the storyline, could be forgiven (it shouldn’t, but you can understand the thought process because WWE creative). This on the other hand never made any sense.
Vince and Shane (welcome back Shane-O) were feuding with Shawn Michaels in 2006. Shawn was a reformed Christian and to further their feud, Vince took exception to Michaels’ religious beliefs and basically challenged god to a tag team match; I am not joking.
It made no sense and was a pathetic idea because you know GOD. To make things worse, ‘god’ was a spotlight who did nothing. Even if you’re not religious, this is amazingly cringeworthy and actually very embarrassing to watch. The feud with Shawn Michaels had some good stuff like their terrific WrestleMania brawl, but Vince just had to go the extra step because he’s Vincent Kennedy McMahon dammit!
This ‘feud’ included a video of Vince in a church proclaiming himself better and at match time, a spotlight indicated “God.” When Vince yelled at “him” to back off, the spotlight retreated and Vince and Shane cheated to beat Shawn.
#7 Jenna vs Sharmell
The following entry is from the hallowed halls of Impact Wrestling. TNA have had their fair share of poor moments. Horrible booking decisions, crappy angles and just downright stupid decisions have led to the company becoming the joke of professional wrestling.
Before they were at the lows we see them at today, TNA still had some credibility with their knockouts division being one of the best in the world, far better than WWE’s eye-candy Divas division.
Despite having a roster including the likes of Awesome Kong, Mickie James and Gail Kim, TNA decided that Jenna Morasca (who you ask!?) of survivor (tv show) fame and Booker T’s wife/valet Sharmell should have a match at the Victory Road PPV. The match was horrible, earning minus five stars from Dave Meltzer and is a pain to get through. The fact that Kong was used to ‘train’ Jenna in this match makes TNA’s decision making all the more ridiculous.
When you have the most talented woman wrestlers in the world, why would you put out this garbage. The match is embarrassing and was humiliating to watch as the competitors tried to wrestle a match. You’d think Sharmell would have picked up something from Booker, but nope.
