"May have fueled a trauma bond" — The Ultimatum: South Africa’s Nkateko issues statement about his relationship with Khanya on Instagram

The Ultimatum: South Africa star Nkateko
The Ultimatum: South Africa star Nkateko (Image via Instagram/@nnkaymahange)

The Ultimatum: South Africa officially wrapped up the social experiment with a reunion special that aired on Friday, May 24, 2024. During the segment, fans saw the cast of the show return and give them insights about their lives after the show.

One such couple was Khanya and Nkateko, who didn't leave the show engaged to one another as the male cast member gave his girlfriend a promise ring instead of an engagement ring. During the segment, the couple revealed that three months before filming the reunion special, they welcomed a baby into the world together.

Nkateko also took to social media to chime in on his relationship with Khanya the same day. In an Instagram post, he said that he couldn't post anything about the same until after the reunion aired, as per the confidentiality agreement that he signed with the network.

The cast member wrote that they watched The Ultimatum: South Africa a day before shooting the reunion special, which made them realize they had "deeper issues."

"There were deeper issues we needed to address within ourselves. We recognized that we also may have fueled a trauma bond, fluctuating between lovers, friendship, and enmity, often feeling more like ourselves when apart," he said.

The Ultimatum: South Africa star Nkateko opens up about his and Khanya's relationship and the pregnancy on social media

In the Instagram post, The Ultimatum: South Africa star wrote about finding out about Khanya's pregnancy after the show ended. Nkateko wrote that they wrapped up filming the Netflix social experiment in March 2023 and soon after that, they discovered that Khanya was pregnant. However, they had already decided to separate around April 2023.

"I proposed a promise ring at the time to prioritize therapy for both of us, given the emotional and mental challenges we faces before, and after the show."

He said that shortly after filming the reunion, they decided that although they were no longer a couple, they needed to finalize matters regarding their son, Q.

The Ultimatum: South Africa star added that throughout the pregnancy, the reality television couple focused on prioritizing therapy to address their "unresolved issues" and to make sure they were prepared for baby Q's arrival.

"We were adamant about not reuniting solely for the sake of our child, understanding the importance of healing as individuals."

Nkateko further said that despite how Khanya was portrayed in The Ultimatum: South Africa, he wanted to acknowledge the support she had provided him with and praise her as a mother. He added that there was more to the cast member than what was shown in the final edit and hoped that fans would see a different side of her in the future.

The Ultimatum: South Africa cast member also noted that legal measures had to be taken between the two after a "recent altercation." He said the legal actions were necessary to "facilitate" them potentially being co-parents to Q.

"We're relying on faith, therapy, and personal growth to overcome what we've been through. My Christian upbringing influences my approach, urging us not to condemn Khanya but to support her in her journey towards healing and growth. I condemn her for acknowledging her mistakes and apologizing."

The Ultimatum: South Africa cast member further thanked Netflix and Urban Brew Studios for "authentically" telling the couple's story and called his time on the show "a life changing experience." Nkateko also thanked his fans for their support.


Fans can watch episodes of the social experiment on the streaming platform.

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Edited by Dev Sharma
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