10 things on Vince McMahon’s Christmas list

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, we’re just a matter of days away from Christmas and it’s at this point in the year that Santa Claus laces up his boots once again and prepares for a very long night of travelling.

Some men and women will find themselves on the naughty list and some on the nice, but regardless of placement, there’s one guarantee above all else – WWE chairman, Vince McMahon will get what he wants, year in and year out.

That’s not just true of Christmas, either, because the boss tends to get his own way nine times out of ten in this business. Still, it’s interesting to consider what kind of things he’d be looking for if he ever were to write an official Christmas list, and that’s what we’re here for.

So kick up your feet and get your mulled wine ready, because it’s time to take a look into the deep and dark mind of Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

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#10 XFL merchandise

Remember the XFL?

We’ve all been hearing the rumours over the last seven days, and it appears as if it’s almost time for it to become official – Vince McMahon is bringing back the XFL. If you don’t know what that is, then we highly recommend you head on over to Google and trust us, you won’t regret it once you uncover some of the glorious YouTube compilations.

So then, it makes all of the sense in the world for Vinnie Mac to gear up ahead of what could be the biggest revival in pro wrestling since Dash & Dawson. We foresee a hat, jersey, and potentially even a scarf or two being thrown into Vince’s stockings just for good measure. If you think we’re joking, then you probably don’t know McMahon all too well.

#9 Raw rating's dominance

Raw continues to be the number one brand

Monday Night Raw is, by all accounts, the brainchild of Vince McMahon. It’s the biggest weekly professional wrestling show in the history of the industry, and beyond that, it’s one of his greatest creations. Over the last 25 years the show has managed to go from strength to strength, however, one of its greatest challenges has come from within the system.

In the last twelve months, SmackDown Live has been consistently able to challenge the red brand in the ratings, more so than they have done in years. You’d think that would make Vince happy, but as is evidenced by the quality of the blue brand’s show in recent months, he clearly wants nothing more than to see Raw reign supreme as the number one brand for many years to come.

#8 CM Punk loss

Will Punk go 0-2 in 2018?

In a lot of ways, CM Punk was like another son to Vince McMahon – at least, that’s how it comes across from an outsider’s perspective. The Straight Edge Superstar has always been something of an outlaw and that kind of attitude is what eventually led to him leaving WWE back in early 2014, and boy oh boy was it a bitter exit.

It seems as if the two sides still hate each other with a burning passion, and as such, Vince is probably praying to the MMA gods that Punk winds up losing his second professional fight. Not only would it give McMahon a certain level of satisfaction, but it would also improve the odds of Punk one day walking back through the company’s doors.

#7 Monday night wars poster

Never forget...

Have you ever heard of the Monday Night Wars? No? Well, that’s odd, because WWE seems hell-bent on reminding us of them on a weekly basis. The company’s clashes with WCW back in the late 90s and early noughties will go down in history, especially considering how many world-class superstars were on both rosters back in the day.

Unfortunately, Vince can’t seem to let that victory from 16 years ago slide away from the memory of the WWE Universe, and thus, he likes to bring it up from time to time. With a Monday Night Wars poster to hang above his bed, he’ll be able to remember those glory days every single night before he goes to sleep – or something like that.

#6 The Showdown

McMahon vs Meltzer - WrestleMania 34

When you think about some of Vince’s greatest rivals over the years, the likes of Bret Hart, Ted Turner and Hulk Hogan come to mind. One name that seems to go under the radar among casual fans, however, is Dave Meltzer. As we all know Meltzer is renowned for his insider scoops, which have a tendency to spoil plans that WWE has had in place for months.

It truly is baffling to us that Vince hasn’t had Dave killed at some point over the last 15 years, or at the very least, had a stern word or two with him. That’s why we believe he’s waiting for the right opportunity to get Meltzer in the same room as him so that he can release decades of frustration upon the highly respected journalist.

#5 Reigns vest

A bargain this Christmas - kind of

Roman Reigns is Vince McMahon’s current favourite wrestler and if you don’t believe in that statement, you need your head tested. The Chairman of the Board has spent what feels like a lifetime trying to get Roman over with the crowd and while there have certainly been moments of success, in the grand scheme of things, it hasn’t worked out all too well.

But that would stop the big man from loving and appreciating his prodigal son, which is why we’d like to believe a replica Roman Reigns vest would be at the top of his list for December 25th. He could wear it underneath his suits, but then again, he’s already freakishly large for a man who is moving towards his mid-70s.

#4 Big man wrestling

Imagine Vince's reaction to seeing this live

When the cruiserweight division was reintroduced into WWE, there was a great deal of trepidation from many fans. While the Cruiserweight Classic was an overwhelming triumph, few thought that it would translate into a weekly television show – and the reason for that was because Vince tends to prefer performers with a bit more about them.

We aren’t talking in terms of talent, either, we’re talking in terms of sheer mass. We believe that Vince is going to demand a series of DVDs which feature footage of his greatest big man wrestlers ever so that he can enjoy the style of pro wrestling that we all know he loves and appreciates the most.

Who knows, maybe 305 Live will be his next venture.

#3 Trump endorsement

What a bizarre image

If you haven’t seen the Battle of the Billionaires at WrestleMania 23 in Detroit, then we urge you to stop reading this and watch it. Seriously, it’s one of the most remarkable things you’re ever likely to see in a wrestling match, as Donald Trump shaves Vince McMahon bald. No, we aren’t lying about this – it was tremendous.

The two have remained friends over the years, dating all the way back to the first few editions of Mania, with Vince even visiting Trump at the White House after he became president. Now, it’s time for The Donald to do Vinnie Mac another favour, by granting his wish of endorsing the XFL once it is officially relaunched. That shouldn’t be too difficult to pull off, either, considering how much he hates the NFL.

#2 Creative leniency

Remember the proposed incest angle?

While Vince is almost definitely the last line of command when it comes to what is put out on TV on a weekly basis, that doesn’t mean he does it all on his own. After all, we’ve heard about several proposed storylines over the years that were supposed to go down but didn’t, and most of them came from the warped mind of Mr McMahon.

Vince will be wishing for some kind of hypnotic spell this Christmas, which would allow him to have much more creative freedom – which is ironic given he owns the entire company. Sure, we’re locked in an era where things are a little bit more PG, but that probably won’t mean all too much to Vince if he gets the chance to do something wild.

#1 Best friends forever

What a duo

While we did say that Roman Reigns currently holds the position of Vince’s favourite wrestler, the all-time leader in that department is almost certainly John Cena. After all, the two men have been joined at the hip for the better part of 15 years, with McMahon pinpointing John as ‘the guy’ from an incredibly early stage.

We can see Vince asking for some kind of montage video or photo collage for Christmas that highlights some of his greatest moments alongside the Doctor of Thuganomics. Cena is currently moving away from a full-time schedule and more into the world of being a part-timer, so god knows Vince will need to hold onto those memories.