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5 for 1: Raw 3/6/17

Let's be honest. When you love pro wrestling so much, there's a lot to hate.

Brock gives Goldberg The Gentlest F5

When I tell my friends and family I watch pro wrestling, their response is usually, “really?” and I can immediately see them calculating how many brain cells I must have left. When they learn how much pro wrestling l actually watch, they immediately look at me like I'm dying and ask “why?” with genuine concern in their voices.

I used to respond with flailing arms, full passion, and half sentences. Dropping names they names they didn't recognise. That would usually get them to stop talking to me, sometimes for months. 

These days I just admit it: Wrestling is inherently stupid, unbelievably frustrating, and viciously insulting to fans’ intelligence. I tell them 90% is awful, but 10% is the greatest thing on earth (often this is super generous).

This confuses them even more, so I mention that The Undertaker is still a thing and they’re all, “OH YEAH, I remember that dude!” and then they usually stop talking to me, sometimes for months.

So now I’m friendless and estranged but I still believe in that formula, and although it absolutely fluctuates depending on the week and the person watching the product, it’s pretty close, universally. So each week I’m going to focus on 5 bad parts of Raw and 1 great part. I understand every Raw won’t have the same balance, but whatever. Rules are rules.

The Bad 1

The crowd could taste the absence of reason. It was bland.

FIGHT FOR...really? STILL??

It was well established that Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn would meet for the final time by WWE.com, less than a year ago:

“Batman and The Joker. Superman and Lex Luthor. Sherlock Holmes and Moriarty. The greatest rivalries in history all have one thing in common in that they never seem to end. At WWE Battleground, however, WWE.com has confirmed that Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens will look to buck that trend and put their grudge to rest once and for all.”

Their match at Battleground was one of the best of 2016 on the main roster. 

They wrestled each other a week later. And then another 20+ times since. Not including Monday. The only time they WEREN’T fighting on a consistent basis is when Owens was Universal Champion and he was busy giving Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins all those chances.

But since creative can’t write more than two paragraphs a week, his first match after losing to Goldberg is an old match against a guy who’s entire character based on the fact that he can’t win. Another case of WWE establishing their rules and then completely ignoring them. Zero explanation.

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