5 Worst Wrestling Matches Of 2009

DISCLAIMER: These are the views of the writer and do not reflect those of Sportskeeda

Many people will argue that 2009 was the worst year in wrestling for the entire 2000s. Some, in fact, argued that it was the worst year since the 21st century first started. It was that low of a period in wrestling, given what happened.

The wrestling world lost many people over the years, but two in 2009 stung especially badly. The first was Captain Lou Albano. He was an icon of the 1980s WWE, and was a central figure in the Rock’N’Wrestling Connection. His wacky antics made childhood memories for countless children around the world.

More tragically, Japanese legend Mitsuharu Misawa died in the ring. Years of dangerous neck bumps finally caught up with him, and his loss devastated the world over. Some say Japan’s passion for puroresu died with him, and argue that even with New Japan’s success today, it isn’t the same without Misawa’s presence.

Things were also terrible for WWE and TNA, albeit for different reasons. 2009 marked the creative nadir for both companies, with terrible nonsensical booking from both promotions. TNA booked awful match concepts, including one show that featured a match so horrible it has become something of a running joke online. In WWE, 2009 was the era of ‘RAW guest hosts’, with terrible, campy and cringe-inducing bad comedy skits galore.

But don’t take our word for it; just watch and read about these terrible matches for yourselves to see what kind of nonsense was shown on a weekly basis back then…

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#5 Kane vs. The Great Khali – SummerSlam

Few wrestlers suffered worse booking during the 2000s than Kane. For much of the decade, he was saddled with awful storylines and terrible in-ring opponents, yet he gritted his teeth and did what was asked of him. That loyalty is commendable, but it also meant that fans had to suffer through his bad matches against other giants.

The Great Khali was one of his worst opponents, as Khali was much bigger than Kane but could only executed 1/20th of the moves Kane could. Their match at SummerSlam epitomized this problem, as Kane of all people had to show his agility against the mammoth Khali. It was a boring match with few exciting moves from Khali.

Kane tried his best here, but Khali didn’t do anything athletic other than raising his arms at a glacial pace. Unfortunately, these two fought each other again a month later in a match that wasn’t that much better, even though it included weapons.

#4 Women’s WrestleMania Battle Royal - WrestleMania XXV

Battle Royals aren’t usually considered for bad matches because they’re not expected to be good in the first place. Most of them are chaotic and hard to follow, so you shouldn’t expect a 5-star spectacle out of one. But there have been a few that have been so exceptionally bad that they deserve to be dishonored as the worst of the worst…and this is one of them.

This was supposed to be a memorial, a tribute of sorts, for all the contributions made by women in WWE over the decades. Instead of giving them some kind of legitimacy, they were all shoehorned into a gimmicky battle royal that was meant as a ‘bathroom break’ match. Because of that, few, if any of them, got to actually tell any kind of story, resulting in a disjointed, messy affair that never got exciting.

But the worst part of it was that the match and title of ‘Miss WrestleMania’ was won by ‘Santina’ Marella, which was Santino Marella dressed as a woman.

An award for the women of WWE…was won by a man. Few people, if any, found such a conclusion satisfying.

#3 ‘Santina’ Marella vs. Vickie & Chavo Guerrero – Handicap Hog Pen Match

There is a reason ‘hogpen’ matches are rare in WWE: it’s because they suck. No one wants to see two grown athletes throw each other into a pit of ‘mud’ and flail around like children having tantrums.

Anytime this match occurs it’s meant to embarrass someone, which usually gets a chuckle out of a certain chairman backstage and no one else. Anyway, this entire feud was based on the ‘Santina’ winning the title of ‘Miss WrestleMania’ despite not being an actual woman and Vickie stealing ‘her’ crown.

This led to some bad comedy, terrible attempts at slapstick humor, and Vickie Guerrero turning this match into a handicap match at the last minute. Bad humor ensues as Vickie and Chavo argued, awkward ‘action’ followed, and then ended in literal mudslinging.

It wasn’t entertaining at all, except again for one person and his on-air mouthpiece. Stuff like this is what turns people away from wrestling instead of drawing them in.

#2 Any Match Between Hornswoggle And Chavo Guerrero Throughout The 2009 Calendar Year

One of the most inexplicable and nonsensical creative decisions in 2009 was WWE’s relentless burial of Chavo Guerrero as a wrestler. Despite coming from one of the greatest wrestling families in history, Chavo was utterly destroyed on a weekly basis by Hornswoggle in some of the most pointless and embarrassing ‘matches’ ever seen.

These included but were not limited to: a blindfold match, a 1 arm tied behind their back match, a tuxedo match, a boxing match, a bull rope match (which involved Hornswoggle wearing a cow mask), and many other ridiculous stipulations.

These matches were utterly unwatchable and were obviously made to humiliate Chavo Guerrero. Nobody knows what he did exactly to deserve this kind of mistreatment, but it got so bad that some fans actually signed a petition asking WWE to end the feud.

Naturally, WWE ignored their request, and only ended the feud long past its expiry date when everyone had grown tired of seeing Chavo lose in some of the most nonsensical ways imaginable.

#1 Jenna Morasca vs. Sharmell - TNA Victory Road 2009

A strong argument could be made that this was THE WORST WRESTLING MATCH OF ALL TIME

This match is where the phrase ‘minus five stars’ was first coined. This was an atrocious match, simple as that. I don’t even think it deserves to be called a wrestling match, to be honest. It was utter garbage, thanks in part to the complete lack of effort from someone who had absolutely no business inside a wrestling building, much less a wrestling ring.

One of the people involved was Sharmell, wife of Booker T, who had a rudimentary grasp of pro wrestling but was still not meant to wrestle like the TNA Knockouts. The other was Jenna ‘Survivor Chick’ Morasca, who knew absolutely nothing about wrestling.

So when they clashed, it ended up being easily the worst women’s wrestling match of all time.

Although Sharmell did look somewhat acceptable in the ring, she couldn’t do anything with her opponent. Jenna didn’t know how to run the ropes, how to do anything remotely resembling grappling, and didn’t even know how to strike.

Honestly, she didn’t know how to throw a punch, worked or otherwise. Her ‘comeback’ consisted of flailing her arms around like a baby refusing to be fed by its mother. It’s matches like this that prove that ‘celebrities’, no matter how popular, do not belong in a wrestling ring. Morasca had no clue how to do anything wrestling-related and seemed to devote more effort into acting lewd than doing any wrestling.

Even for those fans that still enjoy women as eye-candy, this is too awful to be even remotely exciting.