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An open letter to Vince McMahon

ANALYST
Modified 28 Nov 2013, 16:19 IST
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Lets just do away with this PG thing now, shall we?

Dear Vince,

Hope you are doing great there. With the festivities right around the corner and thanksgiving going on, let me thank you first of all for giving me and me likes, a brand called WWE.

Didn’t I introduce myself? I am sorry, my bad! I am sort of your bread provider…well, one of them; one of those people who tune into your shows every Monday and then every Friday and Sundays twice a month. I have been doing the same for last 15 years and with all those memories you guys gave me I can at least bear you for another 15 years.

In the last sentence, I used the word ‘bear’, did you notice?

It has been getting tougher every passing week not to get fed up of your PG product. I am at least one of the lucky freebees as I am better off watching your ‘pay per views’ on free TV. Not everyone is as fortunate and blessed as I am.

The WWE Universe which you thrive upon still buys them in this era of slow economy, not that they are any less smart than I am but because they don’t want you to suffer the fate of your past rivals (read WCW here).

Well Vince, enough with the shenanigans, let me cut the chase for you.

We want PG era to end. ‘We’ means the millions watching your shows every week across 156 countries that you claim to have access.

You were the evil genius Vince. One who knew what would work and when. You always had your finger on the nerve of your spectator. If professional wrestling business is still there surviving somehow in the shadows of lowering TRPs and decreasing PPV buy rates it’s all because of your impeccable vision.

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You gave us the attitude era. You spoilt us first with Austin and D-generation X and when we were all your spoilt little brats you took all the fun away by putting a ‘PG’ mark on our most beloved product. How is that even fair?

Chair shots on head and piledrivers to be banned can be understood. The wellness policy is a cool thing too. They are well justified and were the need of the time. The Chris Benoit incident was not your fault either, nor was the aftermath. Gosh! It was a hard time for all of us. And no you can’t fire me for taking his name.

But taking out violence from a sport which thrives upon kicks and punches doesn’t really help.

How are we supposed to believe in a grudge fight when even a dozen chair shots and weapons are not able to bring a drop of blood out of the men involved?

Yes, I know professional wrestling isn’t ‘real’. My ears have bled already hearing this same old shtick. But then, the beauty of this entire concept of professional wrestling business is the ability to sell. That’s what you got to do, sell the fake and delude our eyes by adulterating the truth.

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You Vince were a master of this art of disguise a decade ago. You made the people believe that a dead man could actually set his half brother on fire who resides in hell and they can both come out of the scene unscathed. We bought every bit of it. Mick Foley came out in three different attires and we bought the thought that Dude Love was actually not mankind.

It happened because you…you Vince believed in your product. You always knew that we are a crazy bunch of people out here raring to eat your pie off your palm.

We are about to watch a John Cena Vs Randy Orton for a millionth time in a Champion Vs Champion Match which shall lead to a title unification apparently. But how can you just let that happen without any build?

Matches of this magnitude used to be built slow, tension brewing gradually over the weeks and it finally blasted on one fine Sunday night. It used to feel big.

You have two of your monsters dancing their ways and “calling their mamas”. They are the big guys, legitimate big guys who can tear through anyone if they are given a chance. They shouldn’t be dancing with the kids and having ‘funk’ out there. It just doesn’t feel right.

WWE has got a black hole of a roster right now. I am not even sure if JTG and Yoshi Tatsu are still employed. There is so much talent in the bottomless mid card and yet we see the same players dancing together on Raw, Smack down and Main Event. It’s so monotonous you know. And then your love with random generic meaningless tag team matches sometimes makes me want to die.

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And Vince, bringing Michael Strahan and making him mock WWE on your flagship show, well, is that your master plan to self destruction? If so, then go on. You are on the right path.

Your product might look sleek to kids, the bonafide ‘Cenation’ members who are so small that “we can’t even see them” but to the one who pay for their pleasure? Their parents, what about them?

I am sorry Vince but you are losing nerve of the world. You are not competing with the ‘Teletubbies’, you run a freaking wrestling company which promises thrill, fun and unpredictability for god’s sake.

So, can we stop this whole PG thing now? Hell, even Linda has lost twice. That much is enough of lesson to knock sense back into her head.

‘B a star’, ‘Make a Wish’ ‘Susan G Komen’ campaigns could still go. The entire world knows you make kayfabe. Its fine, that’s what you should do, disguising our eyes. And for god’s sake stop plugging ‘Total Divas’. There are better ways to promote your female talent.

This can go on and on but this much truth is too much for a day. Let’s stop here.

Here is a humble request to go back to your roots. To look less like an endorser of social media and do what is truly “BEST FOR BUSINESS”.

The dooms day can approach very soon if you keep taking us for granted and abuse your monopoly.

Don’t get me wrong, I do want your company to stay forever.

Yours truly

A frustrated fan

Published 28 Nov 2013, 16:19 IST
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