Getting Ready to Rumble - Potential 2019 Royal Rumble Winners: Curt Hawkins

In this new series, we take a look at the chances different superstars have of winning the 2019 Royal Rumble match. Last time we analysed the chances of a heavy favourite, the Monster among Men Braun Strowman. This time, we analyse the chances of the least likely superstar to win this match; the perennial loser Curt Hawkins.

Curt Hawkins returned to the WWE at the beginning of the brand split era. Standing at 6 feet 1 inch and weighing in at 223 pounds, Hawkins had adopted a gimmick that could best be described as Chuck Norris Jokes. He told absurd, apocryphal stories that portrayed him as the greatest man to ever live.

For example, Hawkins was once bitten by a cobra, and after 4 days of agonizing pain, the cobra died. Unfortunately for Hawkins, this was as good as it got. He has lost way more often than he was won. In fact, he has lost most of his matches.

Curt Hawkins is perhaps the most consistent superstar on the WWE roster, irrespective of gender. He has lost over 240 matches in a row. He has most certainly entered the pantheon of jobbers, joining luminaries such as Gillberg and The Brooklyn Brawler as one of the greatest losers in WWE history.

However, this is the Royal Rumble match. Theoretically, everybody has a chance. It must also be noted that Curt Hawkins is a former tag-team champion; he won the titles with Zack Ryder early on in his career.

So without further ado, let's analyse Curt Hawkins' chances of defying everyone's expectations, and making history by winning the 2019 Royal Rumble match.

The Case For Curt Hawkins Winning the 2019 Royal Rumble Match

Curt Hawkins winning the match would be the single greatest moment in Royal Rumble history. Perhaps that is hyperbole. However, it cannot be denied that Curt Hawkins winning the match would certainly be the most shocking moment in Royal Rumble history.

Statistically speaking, Curt has a 3.33% chance of winning the match just be entering it. Him winning the match would create a genuinely shocking moment; nobody predicted The Undertaker's undefeated WrestleMania streak ending either and that happened too.

Curt Hawkins winning the 2019 Royal Rumble match would also lead to the most believable underdog 'Road to WrestleMania' story in WWE history. Plus, the law of averages says that he has to win sometime right?

The Case Against Curt Hawkins Winning The 2019 Royal Rumble Match

There is a fatal flaw in the premise that Curt Hawkins is going to win the men's 2019 Royal Rumble match. A fly in the ointment. A monkey wrench in the works. An unavoidable glitch. An insurmountable obstacle. This is Curt Hawkins we are talking about.

The guy has lost over 240 matches in a row. The last time he won a match in the WWE was November 8, 2016. That is two years, 2 months, and 8 days ago. Or to put it another way, 799 days.

I would normally say that anything is possible in the WWE. I would point out that stranger things have happened. But I cannot do that.

Nothing stranger has ever happened, and this is as close to impossible as you get in the WWE. The sentence 'Curt Hawkins won' is dangerously close to becoming an oxymoron.

Who Would He Challenge at WrestleMania 35?

The Greatest Match In The History Of Our Sport...or not

There can be only one man: the WWE Champion, Daniel Bryan.

The New Daniel Bryan is a very delusional, very angry man. In fact, he is just angry and delusional enough to not take Curt Hawkins seriously as a threat. That is the character side of the argument.

Daniel Bryan is also one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. This is the same man who made us all believe that Santino Marella of all people was about to win the World Heavyweight Championship inside the Elimination Chamber in 2012. If anyone can make this scenario believable, it is him.

Also, Daniel Bryan ranting about the environment only for Curt Hawkins to interrupt him and shut him up? Sign me up.

The Verdict: I would like to state for the record that I am actively rooting for Curt Hawkins to win the 2019 men's Royal Rumble match. It would be the absolute pinnacle of my fandom. However, as the saying goes, if wishes were horses beggars would ride. It is time for me to FACE THE FACTS. The only way Curt Hawkins will win this match is if he enters the ring just as the last two competitors eliminate each other.

Agree? Disagree? Let us know in the comments below.