Rise above crappy outfits
John Cena is a fashion disaster. He dresses in the style of “Catastrofashion.” He’s like the Hindenburg of getting dressed. His colour schemes are loud and clunky, often neon-tinted, always way too bright. His sneakers are boring and he puts ZERO effort into his sock collection.
He wears entirely too many sweatbands on parts of his arms that most people don’t even have. He wears jorts. Honest to goodness, jorts!
Look, it may be a stereotype, but one would hope that a lady John Cena would have a better sense of material trends than our current basketball/hip-hop hybrid. Get some fleek or swag or whatever the kids are saying, in there, pick a strong colour combo, some sweet boots, better accessories, and a dope in-ring outfit.
The last thing we want is a sexy Jane Cena wearing CMT redneck pants and obnoxious t-shirts.
I guess we should change her logos and mottos and stuff. Like “Never Give Up” could be changed to “Always Look Good” and “The Face That Runs The Place” could be “The Makeup That Causes A Shake Up” or something equally stupid.
Since the WWE loves to lift stuff from pop culture, Hustle. Loyalty. Respect. t-shirts could be switched to Pain. Killer. Jane. As long as we all rise above Nate, we should be good. Nate is terrible.
With colour combos, I think a pastel blue/white or a purple/black base would look great. Anything but bright neon on clashing colours and cartoonish logos. She’s not artificially flavoured candy and this isn’t T.R.O.N.. Cena digs the military, so maybe just go with the G.I. Jane motif mentioned earlier.
If we have to stick with the denim, we could cut those shorts into Daisy Dukes. In fact, tie up a shirt above her belly button and go full Nidia and call it a day. I’m all for that, I miss Nidia.
If she wants to keep the sweatbands, maybe Bayley could give her some advice and suggestions. Or she could go straight to Sasha Banks to get some tips on the correct usage of bling. Perhaps, she can borrow some cool gloves and sunglasses from Emma, or take blacklight movement courses from Naomi.
And while they’re not technically wrestlers, I bet Lana and Renee Young would help her pick out some killer boots. She could borrow extensions from pretty much the entire division, so her hair will probably always look great.
Or just go full Supergirl, that’s probably the level of skill we’re working with, anyway, why not just lean into it?
Teddy Long snaps when Swerve Strickland's race is brought up HERE
