Smarky Re-Cap: WWE Smackdown (3/29/13)

We kick off Smackdown with the Rock‘s music hitting and him making his way down to the ring with the new WWE Championship. I’m still not sure how I feel about the new design. It’s definitely an improvement on the previous rapper belt, but it’s still probably the worst looking championship in the WWE (behind the Divas and Tag belts). Rock starts off by holding up a Hershey’s chocolate bar. Because we’re in Hershey. Yep. That was it. Rock reminds us of the awful crackhead promo he did a while back, and says that after that he moved to another town in Pennsylvania. He starts to tell his personal life stories that take place in Hershey. Is it just me, or does Rock have some childhood experiences in every freaking city? After a weird story about chocolate that of course rerouted to “candy ass”, the Rock finally begins to talk about his upcoming WrestleMania match with Cena. After saying that he is going to kick his candy ass in front of the millions (and millions), Big Johnny himself interrupts as we go to commercial break. God I’ve missed that man.

Finally! The Ace has come back to Smackdown!

When we come back from the break, Rock questions who John Laurinaitis is, which just goes to show how much the Rock watched after he won his ‘Mania match with Cena. The soon to be Rock Bottomed Johnny Ace tells the Rock his (former) title and offers and alliance between himself and the Rock. The Rock asks the fans to decide for him, and of course, they tell him not to and he lays out Johnny with a Spinebuster and a People’s Elbow. After the WWE Champ leaves, Jericho makes his way out to the ring for a match with Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett. I personally would have like Barrett vs. Jericho to happen at WrestleMania, but I’m actually looking forward to Jericho vs. Fandango, even if most of the fans aren’t. The Miz also joins the commentary team, making what will probably be a very annoying and cluttered 4-man booth. After a distraction from the Miz, Chris Jericho lands a Codebreaker on Wade for the win after a short yet entertaining match. After the Miz and Wade leave the arena, Jericho picks up the mic and points out that Fandango’s elaborate stage props are up, indicating that he is soon to make his entrance. He then says that he has never been able to get Fandango’s name right, and he is going to try again in front of the crowd. He then goes on to say a bunch of ridiculous things, one of which was “Fan-I see a little silhouette of a man, skadamoosh, skadamoosh, can you do the Fandango?”. Yep. Fandango interrupts, doing his whole dance routine in the process. Jericho cuts him off at the ramp, but Fandango retreats. Well, he dance retreats. Great segment. It made me way more interested in the feud. Johnny Curtis plays the Fandango character to perfection too.

Fan-Danny DeVito

After a long video package highlighting the Lesnar/HHH feud, they air a pre-taped interview between Josh Mathews and Paul Heyman. Heyman says that it isn’t just Triple H‘s in-ring career on the line, but his executive position is on the line too (in spirit, at least).Up next is the bench press competition between Henry and Ryback, where they apparently beat a football record. Impressive. Booker T and Teddy Long introduce the two behemoths, and Henry goes for Ryback immediately. Booker keeps some separation and says that there is a no-contact clause between Henry and Ryback. Really? It’s wrestling. There shouldn’t be any no contact clauses. Henry goes first, and beats the world record by 2. Wow. Henry is now a world record holder. Unless Ryback beats it of course. Which he almost does. Before he can beat Henry, Henry pushes the weight down on Ryback’s neck to choke him. I haven’t seen something like that from the WWE. Pretty violent. Ryback struggles to recapture his breath as Henry leaves the stage.

Henry wasn’t the best choice for spotter.

We return to the ring for a mixed tag team match involving the teams of Bryan/Kaitlyn and Ziggler/AJ. It looks like they will be going with AJ vs. Kaitlyn for the Divas Championship at WrestleMania, which is a great decision. Hopefully they can get more than 3 minutes so they can actually put on a good match. AJ winning would boost the title to since she’s a constant presence on TV, but Kaitlyn retaining against her would be just as good. After a very short match, Kaitlyn picks up the win after hitting a spear on AJ. A little weird that Bryan’s music started playing when she won. We go backstage for a self-interview with the Shield. You would have thuought that the WWE could have provided them with a better camera by now. They trash talk their WrestleMania opponents, and leave their crappy little camera on the floor as they walk away.

Million dollar corporation. Hundred dollar camera.

Now it’s time for what will probably be the most riveting match of the night – the Great Khali comes with Hornswoggle and Natalya to face Jack Swagger. It looks like they cut out a Colter promo since the announcers were arguing about it. Weird that they would do that to a guy who’s involved in the World Championship feud. Swagger makes quick work of Khali, but gets a double count out after not letting go of the Ankle Lock at ringside. Believe it or not, Swagger is undefeated in 2013. Huge difference from 2012, where he was losing to Zack Ryder. After he takes out Hornswoggle, Ricardo comes out and distracts Swagger as Del Rio comes from behind and locks the Armbar on Swagger. Ricardo throws Del Rio a crutch, but Swagger ducks and leaves the ring as the World Champion celebrates in the ring.

NIP SLIP

After a few video packages and backstage interviews, the main event of Big Show, Orton, and Sheamus vs. Rhodes Scholars and Cesaro begins. Well, it begins after Cesaro does a beautiful yodel. Yep, it’s a part of his gimmick now. Deal with it. After a pretty decent match, Sheamus picks up the win after hitting a Brogue Kick on Rhodes, but they don’t have much time to celebrate as the Shield’s music hits as they make their way through the crowd. Show, Orton, and Sheamus don’t wait for them though, and they jump the barricade and chase them up the stairs. The two teams brawl in the stands, with Team WWE getting the upper-hand as we end the show.

Ambrose feels a presence.

Good show tonight. Some good matches with a lot of story progression. This was probably the last actual Smackdown until WrestleMania since the Smackdown before ‘Mania is traditionally just one giant video package.