WWF RAW Is WAR Review: March 10th, 1997

Ahmed Johnson Loves Baby Oil

Vince Russo rips himself off...

Match #3: Ahmed Johnson vs. Roy Raymond

This match has a suspiciously similar structure to the Rocky Maivia bout earlier in the night. Ahmed also faces a jobber here, & the match is also just under two minutes. Not only that but instead of The Sultan & his accomplices shouting at Maivia from the steel ramp, we have the Nation of Domination rapping at Ahmed Johnson from the safety of the steel ramp.

Oh my god, did Vince Russo just rip himself off in order to fill time?

But what you need to know, is that Ahmed Johnson loves Baby Oil. I am not kidding, you can take a look at this fine specimen walking to the ring, smothered in excess amounts of oil that makes him look like a walrus from Antarctica so much so, that even Vince McMahon literally goes- "Oh my god, look at him!"

Oily Johnson

NOD crash the party about ten seconds in, Ahmed still keeps wrestling (just like Rocky Maivia) & eventually squashes Raymond using a Pearl River Plunge.

Result: Ahmed Johnson wins via pinfall.

But that's not it. Farooq has to talk about how Ahmed doesn't know what the "real streets are like", to which, Ahmed replies- "First of all let me tell you somethin' you overdressed choco colored punk..." Oh my god.

On the previous episode, Ahmed said (in Ahmedese) that he was not going to be accepting the challenge at WrestleMania all by himself. He brings out the Legion of Doom as his team in this episode, which made the audience go crazy.

Farooq stares at them with a sad puppy face, but from the inside, he ought to be glad that this trainwreck of a feud is finally going somewhere at last.

It would have worked 10x better if the Legion of Doom didn't come up with insults like- "When we get done with you, you'll look like a sweaty, fly cover pile of RAW Sweat Socks!"

RAW Is 2018.

---

Match #4: The New Blackjacks (Blackjack Windham & Blackjack Bradshaw) vs. Owen Hart & The British Bulldog

It's the Sharpshooter! (Oops)

Contradicting the phrase "RAW Is 2018", Blackjack Bradshaw a.k.a future JBL plays into the "dirty hillbilly" stereotype by saying- "But you know, there is one good thing about you (Owen Hart) besides that Slammy you carry around...YOU SURE GOTS YOU SOME REEEAL PURDY LIPS, BOY!" (Oh no)

After Owen Hart & The British Bulldog's iconic match from the previous episode, we are subjected to an unimpressive tag team match this time around.

The finish makes absolutely no sense- Owen Hart gets Blackjack Windham/Barry Windham into a sharpshooter, so Bradshaw tries to break it up. The British Bulldog clotheslines Bradshaw before the latter could break the submission. But Bradshaw gets up & tries to break the submission again. The British Bulldog clotheslines him for a second time. If you think that wasn't enough, then they go at it for a THIRD consecutive time, & Bulldog even shoves the referee for no reason, prompting the referee to end the match & disqualify the champs.

Result: The New Blackjacks win via DQ.

After the ad-break, Taz is somehow near the ringside, & is trying to get his hands on Jerry Lawler.

Lawler has had enough, & both of them start grappling each other near ringside. Out of nowhere, Sabu magically springboards off a chair onto both of them outside the ring, except, he catapults himself right into a table!

Sabu's spot of the night

For people who did not watch ECW back then, the only two times we have ever seen Sabu on WWF TV was a) When he jumped off the RAW logo for no reason two weeks ago, & b) When he catapulted himself onto a table in this episode.

Almost every ECW member comes out & checks on Sabu as if it's a big deal. It should be a big deal if it were anyone other than Sabu because we all know that going through a table & getting up two seconds later is Sabu's obligatory ritual in most matches he has participated in.

Jerry Lawler is the happiest person in the world as he goes & sits back in the commentary booth. They carry Sabu backstage (Correction: Sabu pushes the Sandman & insists on walking all by himself) just when Leif Cassidy (Al Snow) walks past them for his upcoming match. You bet Leif Cassidy's theme song hit right when he was already halfway through his entrance...

What a segue.