"I had an inappropriate and damaging relationship with my much older coach"- Pam Shriver 

In an exclusive interview with British newspaper The Telegraph, 21-time doubles Grand Slam champion Pam Shriver opened up about a relationship she had with her coach as a teenager.

According to the former World No. 3, the coach in question, Don Candy, was 50 years old at the time and was already married. Shriver admitted that it was a painful affair to relive, but noted that it was an important issue to go public with.

"The short version of this story is that I had an inappropriate and damaging relationship with my much older coach, which began when I was 17 and lasted a little over five years," Pam Shriver said. "It hasn’t been easy to rake over what happened, but I believe this is an important issue, and one that needs to be brought out into the open."

The American proclaimed that such "abusive coaching relationships" were alarmingly common in tennis and sports in general. Shriver further remarked that it was a problem that disproportionately affected women, and that her alarm bells would ring every time she heard a female player dating their coach.

"My main motivation is to let people know this still goes on - a lot. I believe abusive coaching relationships are alarmingly common in sport as a whole. Every time I hear about a player who is dating their coach, or I see a male physio working on a female body in the gym, it sets my alarm bells ringing," Pam Shriver said. "It’s not only women who suffer from abusive coaching relationships, but they make up the majority."

Regarding Don Candy, Pam Shriver stated that she had "conflicted feelings" to this day. The 59-year-old was of the opinion that Candy was largely "honest and authentic", but should have nipped the relationship in the bud since he was the grown-up at the time.

"I still have conflicted feelings about Don. Yes, he and I became involved in a long and inappropriate affair. Yes, he was cheating on his wife. But there was a lot about him that was honest and authentic," Pam Shriver said. "And I loved him. Even so, he was the grown-up here. He should have been the trustworthy adult."

While Shriver made it very clear that Candy did not sexually abuse her in any way, she was adamant that the emotional trauma of the experience plagued her throughout her life. According to the American, it has shaped every relationship she has had in the years since then, contributing to her struggles with maintaining healthy boundaries.

"My relationship with Don was a traumatic experience for me. The after-effects lasted far beyond the time we spent together. Don never abused me sexually, but I would say there was emotional abuse. I felt so many horrendous emotions and I felt so alone," Pam Shriver said.

"Our affair shaped my whole experience of romantic life. It stunted my ability to form normal relationships and set certain patterns which would recur: my ongoing attraction to older men and my difficulties in understanding how to maintain healthy boundaries."

"The point has to be made very clearly: these kinds of relationships are not appropriate" - Pam Shriver

Pam Shriver wants there to be strict consequences for coaches who do not stick to the rules

Pam Shriver further disclosed that she struggled with her form during the relationship with Don Candy, mostly because of the mental toll it was taking on her. Emphasizing how her best years on the WTA tour came only after ending things with Candy, the American said she hoped her story would serve as a reminder to other players to keep their personal and professional lives separate.

"The next four seasons, after I broke up with Don, were the best of my career. I collected 15 singles titles and won over 80 per cent of my matches. Meanwhile, back home in Baltimore, I was starting to date a few guys," Pam Shriver said. "It’s interesting what happens when you end a relationship that is causing so much stress. Finally, I was beginning to experience some normalcy in my personal life."

"My experience suggests that, when you separate these two parts of your life, it’s not only your emotional wellbeing that improves but also your performance on the court. Which should be an incentive to break the cycle," she added.

The former World No. 3 was of the opinion that all credential-holders, from coaches to physios and trainers, have to be educated that such relationships are not appropriate.

Pam Shriver added that the only way to put an end to this "widespread" problem is for all tennis bodies to come together to address the issue and guarantee strict consequences for those who do not abide by the rules.

"The best way to protect the coaches' charges is to put them through an education process before they arrive on tour. The same goes for other credential-holders: physios, fitness trainers and so on," Pam Shriver said. "The point has to be made very clearly: these kinds of relationships are not appropriate, and there will be consequences for those who cross the line. This is a widespread problem and we need a broad-spectrum alliance if we’re going to address it."

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