"I feel so free and happy" — The Ultimatum: Queer Love star Pilar on telling her parents about her engagement to Haley

The Ultimatum: Queer Love season 2 released its final set of episodes (8-10) on July 2, 2025. In episode 10, titled The Reunion, the cast members reunited to discuss their experiences on and off the show. Among them was Pilar, who discussed informing her parents about her engagement to Haley. She stated that the conversation was difficult and that it helped her gain a new perspective.

"I feel like, in standing up for myself and having hard conversations with my parents, it's led to doors being opened that I never thought would be opened. I don't know what the wedding is going to look like exactly, but for the first time, I feel so free and happy and just, like, us and our love is enough and I don't need anything more than that," she explained.

In episode 2 of The Ultimatum: Queer Love season 2, Pilar, during a conversation with Kyle, had stated that her parents were not accepting of her identity or her preferences. She said she had to come out to them through a note because she could not state the truth herself. Nonetheless, the news was not well-received.

Despite the tension, Pilar and Haley, who had been together for a decade, got engaged in the finale of the Netflix series. During the reunion, Pilar revealed that she had discussed her engagement with her parents and realized that she needed to value her love for Haley over seeking their acceptance.

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The Ultimatum: Queer Love couple Pilar and Haley have planned to have an elopement

At the reunion, Haley revealed that she got down on one knee and proposed to Pilar "less than a month" after her own proposal. When host JoAnna Swisher asked her if they had a wedding date, Haley said that they did not but added that they had started planning for "an elopement," which is a private and intimate wedding ceremony for same-s*x couples.

The Ultimatum: Queer Love alum explained that she wanted to have "that kind of security," where both partners could feel safe. Pilar chimed in, sharing that they were "stressed out" while deciding their guest wedding list. However, she was "excited" about their future.

JoAnna then asked Pilar if she had shared the news of her engagement with her family. Pilar said that she had and that the discussion was "hard." However, since she had learned not to attach her self-worth to her family's acceptance, she was able to process the conversation, no matter how challenging it was.

Although she did not know what the wedding would look like, having those "hard conversations" with her parents allowed her to let go of her inhibitions and prioritize her own feelings.

The Ultimatum: Queer Love co-star Magan chimed in, saying she could relate to Pilar's story. Magan noted that although her family had started to accept her identity, it took them "many years" to get to that point.

"It was so push-and-pull for years, and I felt rejected for years. But I kept choosing myself and I kept, like, living authentically," she said.

Magan encouraged Pilar to "keep having faith" and be herself, and added that anybody would be "blessed" to be around her.

Pilar agreed and stated that she needed to respect herself first before expecting others to do the same. She then recalled a cousin's wedding, where she hesitated to introduce Haley as her fiancée. However, she felt it was "wrong" and that it went against everything she had learned so far.

Consequently, she mustered the courage and introduced Haley as her fiancée, which compelled others to acknowledge their relationship.

"That was a big turning point in me. This is all that it's about," she added.

The Ultimatum: Queer Love star added that if people still could not accept her relationship, then it was their "problem" to deal with, not hers.

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The Ultimatum: Queer Love season 2 reunion is streaming now exclusively on Netflix.