Monday Night Raw was hyped up to feature The Undertaker and Shawn Michaels, two Superstars that sometimes are very hard to find.
The Deadman announced on this episode of Raw (because he’s not bound by brands anymore or something) that he was going to compete in the upcoming Royal Rumble, while HBK told Rusev that he was uncomfortable when he spoke of his wife’s Golden Globes.
The more retro parts of Raw were some of the bigger highlights of the show but as always, this is an article that focuses more on the not-so-good stuff. Botches and slip ups are the terms used, and there are several moments that fit into those categories.
Shawn Michaels not coming back for “One More Match” despite the crowd’s chants is always a bummer, but at least that’s understandable. What’s not understandable is when he was seen in the back learning to dab with TJP – some trends are better left alone, Shawn.
In areas of inevitable marketing that elicit a slight groan, New Day made reference to something disturbing called “Booty Juice.” It was supposedly filled in a keg that Titus was racing with but you just know that it’s going to get bottled up and sold for an unreasonably high markup.
The juice will likely have a cartoon drawing on the label of Big E bent over because for some reason that’s where the money’s at.
Those were a few of the outrageous moments that didn’t figure in this week’s 5 botchiest moments but don’t worry, the best stuff still lies ahead...
#5 Mysterious bleeding
This is a riddle that’s yet to be solved...what caused Chris Jericho to bleed during Raw’s main event? After watching over and over, Chris first noticeably grabbed at his head when Roman Reigns grazed him while missing the Superman Punch. Did Roman catch him with his gear?
There was also a running bulldog attempt by Y2J that Roman was able to push him away about a minute prior to this. Chris ran directly into Kevin Owens in the corner and could’ve bonked heads, but Jericho never once put his hand toward his head or indicated at all that he suspected an injury until after the missed Superman Punch.
Regardless of how Jericho got opened up in this match, he still won the United States Championship off of Roman Reigns. Congratulations to him.
#4 Emma Stone won a Golden Globe
WWE writers clearly take every opportunity to infuse trendy cultural references into as much of the programming as they can. With this being the case, you’d think there’d at least be a meeting after something like the Golden Globes to see who has got dibs on which celebrity they want to bring up in their promos.
Emma Stone was on everyone’s minds and both Charlotte and Rusev specifically mentioned the actress by name.
Emma Stone won Best Actress in a musical or comedy motion picture with her performance in La La Land, which I didn’t know until an internet search while writing this article.
#3 Can’t stand after the side breaker
Titus O’Neil wants to be in New Day and he’s going to make us all suffer for it. I mostly feel bad for big Titus and keep wondering how long he’s meant to suffer for the grave sin of “playfully grabbing Vince by the arm,” but that’s where we’re at in life.
The same story of him wanting to be in New Day played out similar to what happened with Xavier Woods seven days prior, only this time there was a keg race and it was Kofi Kingston who got to pin Titus.
The botch worth pointing out here was when Kofi dove off the top rope to give O’Neil a crossbody, but Titus caught him and started dropping his side onto his knee. He only was able to get two of those side breakers going because that’s when he tripped himself up while trying to stand. Whoops.
Call it a hunch but Big E just might have a singles win to look forward to against a former Prime Time Player next Monday night.
#2 Botched East River Crossing
A big plus from Monday Night Raw is that Shawn Michaels threw a rare bit of Sweet Chin Music at Rusev. This served as a distraction for the extremely ripped Jinder Mahal, making him easy prey for a Big Cass finisher.
The negative was that after the beautiful HBK Superkick, Cass wasn’t able to swing Mahal around completely to correctly hit his East River Crossing. This was a very noticeable botch but he was at least able to follow it up with an Empire Elbow for the win.
#1 Drew’s kid doesn’t want to hear it
The Raw cameramen haven’t had the best of luck in finding the most excited children on their super close-up fan shots over the past several weeks. This Monday night wasn’t going to be much different. Drew Brees is the quarterback for the New Orleans Saints and has been for about a decade.
He took his children out to see WWE’s flagship show since they came to town and I’m not sure all of the little tikes were digging it.
If this youngster was trying this hard to close his ears while the Raw theme was playing, imagine how much he must’ve tried to block out the noise during that New Day/Titus segment. The kid might’ve popped his own head like a balloon.
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