Fantasy Booking a CM Punk WWE Return

More pipe-dream than pipe-bomb
More pipe-dream than pipe-bomb

CM Punk is one of the most popular WWE Superstars of all time. It has been almost 5 long years since he walked away from the WWE, and still fans chant his name. Still, fans talk about what it would be like if he returned.

However, the general consensus seems to be that CM Punk is done with professional wrestling, and done with the WWE. The man himself has said as much publicly. So whilst this return is not quite impossible, it is certainly very very improbable.

Have you ever wondered how something would turn out, no matter how improbable? Have you ever wondered how a CM Punk WWE return would look like, no matter how improbable?

Well, dear reader, wonder no more.

For the purposes of this article, we are living in an alternate reality; one in which CM Punk rediscovers his love of wrestling, and the WWE welcomes him back with open arms.

How this would ever happen is for wiser people than me to debate.

Let us assume that the seemingly impossible has happened, and CM Punk has resigned with the WWE.

This is how we see it going down.

Seth Rollins wins the WWE Universal Championship at WrestleMania 35

And NEW
And NEW

If CM Punk were to return to the WWE, it wouldn't be for a mid-card programme. It wouldn't even be for a main-event programme.It would be for the main-event programme on the flagship brand, Monday Night RAW, against the top superstar in the entire company.

That superstar is none other than Seth Rollins.

He is one of the best wrestlers in the world; something that will greatly help CM Punk given his near five-year lay-off. He is one of the most popular Superstars on the roster; this ensures that he has the necessary star-power to match CM Punk's aura.

The Universal Championship is the top championship in the entire company. Beating the seemingly unbeatable Brock Lesnar for the Universal Championship at the biggest, most possible stage-WrestleMania-would establish Seth Rollins as the top superstar in the entire company.

CM Punk's WWE return starts with Seth Rollins slaying The Beast at WrestleMania 35.

CM Punk interrupts Seth Rollins on the RAW After WrestleMania

Do I have everybody's attention now?
Do I have everybody's attention now?

The Monday Night RAW after WrestleMania is the most raucous night of the entire year. A new WWE Universal Champion, especially one as beloved as Seth Rollins would add even more buzz to the proceedings.

The Monday Night RAW after WrestleMania has also become the night where WWE Superstars debut, or make their returns. Moreover, the crowd is going to almost entirely consist of fans who still chant for CM Punk at WWE events. Thus, the stage is set for the shocking return.

As new WWE Universal Champion, Seth Rollins will address the crowd at some point during the night-either the very first segment of the show, or very last. As he's addressing the WWE Universe, the arena goes dark. The lights come back on, and 'Cult of Personality' starts playing.

The crowd is initially stunned, before erupting. They wait. Seconds pass. Then minutes.

Finally, CM Punk walks out. He enters the ring. Seth Rollins offers a handshake. CM Punk shakes his hand, only to transition into a GTS.

He picks up the WWE Universal Championship, looks at it, and leaves it on a prone Seth Rollins, before leaving the ring. CM Punk has finally returned to the WWE!

CM Punk's Manager Does His Job

Ladies and Gentleman, his name is PAUL HEYMAN
Ladies and Gentleman, his name is PAUL HEYMAN

The WWE Universe is absolutely buzzing. CM Punk is back. He actually returned. There are so many questions to be answered. But so much excitement. A man who certainly has some questions is WWE Universal Champion, Seth Rollins.

The next week on Monday Night RAW, he comes down to the ring to demand some answers. He calls out CM Punk.

He waits. The crowd is buzzing, and waiting expectantly. He waits, and waits, and waits, but CM Punk does not come out.

Instead, a very familiar figure comes out. A certain advocate whose client has been vanquished by Seth Rollins. A certain advocate who has had a long and storied association with CM Punk.

CM Punk was one of the first ever 'Paul Heyman Guys'. It seems only fitting that Paul Heyman would be his manager upon his WWE return.

Paul Heyman informs Seth Rollins that CM Punk is on a highly lucrative, part-time contract, and that CM Punk doesn't care about him, the fans, and especially not the fans in the city they are in.

CM Punk has turned heel.

Corporate Punk

He sold out
He sold out

CM Punk turned heel.

CM Punk turned heel?

I am sure that there are many of you reading this who question this decision.

You bring back one of the most popular superstars of all time, a guy the crowd chants for 5 years after his departure, and you turn him heel? There are several reasons for this decision.

Firstly, there is absolutely going to be a sub-section of fans who will accuse CM Punk of having sold out by returning to the WWE. Why, when there are a plethora of wrestling companies out there; AEW, NJPW, ROH, Impact, would he re-sign with the WWE?

This sub-section of fans is a very vocal minority, and once the initial buzz of CM Punk's return has worn off, they will turn on him.

Why not pre-empt that, and lean into those feelings?

Secondly, if CM Punk returns it is going to be on a part-time schedule, there is no doubt about that. Limited dates for a whole lot of money. Not unlike Brock Lesnar.

Like Brock Lesnar, why not make it a part of his character?

Thirdly, CM Punk is an excellent babyface, but an even better heel. There are a lot of fans who do not know who he is; five years is a long time, and nostalgia wears off fast. A heel CM Punk would be able to flesh out a better, more compelling character.

Fourthly, turning him heel allows the WWE to keep the full-time champion, Seth Rollins babyface. A full-time babyface champion and heel part-time challenger works much better than a full-time heel champion, and babyface part-time challenger.

CM Punk has turned heel.

He is now the suit-wearing, part-time Superstar who thinks he is too good for the WWE Universe. He cares only about himself and will do what is best for him. Not unlike Chris Jericho in 2008, this heel persona will strip away everything fans ever liked about Punk.

The anti-hero who raged against the machine has sold out. CM Punk is now Corporate Punk.

WWE Money in the Bank 2019 Main Event

An unforgettable main event
An unforgettable main event

The new CM Punk is box-office. He only shows up at the biggest shows for the biggest pay-days. He doesn't care about the fans, and certainly won't be wrestling every week.

But, he wants the WWE Universal Championship. And because he has signed a new contract, because he is box-office, because he is now Corporate Punk, he is granted a WWE Universal Championship match at WWE Money in the Bank.

There are several advantages to waiting until Money in the Bank.

Firstly, waiting helps build anticipation and will make the eventual match that much bigger.

Secondly, it gives CM Punk enough time to train at the WWE Performance Center to ensure that he is ready for a return.

Thirdly, Money in the Bank is almost synonymous with CM Punk; he won the Money in the Bank contract twice, and the 2011 Money in the Bank event is where he solidified his super-stardom.

This is how we see the return going down. Agree? Disagree? Let us know in the comments

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