Hell In A Cell 2016: Cellbound
Can anything save the Raw brand from completely falling apart? A pessimistic look at this Sunday's confusing mess.
Hooo Boy! Raw has not been looking well, lately, we’re stumbling awkwardly into Hell In A Cell: Cell Warriors. Between not knowing how to write for the characters they have, finding a way to make the championships meaningless, and building to PPVs by giving away the matches for free before the PPV, I’m convinced this is creative’s off-season.
The few saving graces have either been done ad nauseam or abandoned altogether. We’ve also spent two weeks hyping up a match that’s not happening until the NEXT PPV. Rough.
Cedric Alexander, Lince Dorado, and Sin Cara vs Tony Nese, Drew Gulak, and Ariya Daivari - Kickoff
On Stone Cold’s podcast, Vince McMahon famously said they don’t do “wrestling for wrestling’s sake.” meaning, they use the stories and characters and dialogue to dictate the matches. Cool. I’m super into that, It’s pretty much why I watch pro wrestling in the first place.
So here we are, with a bunch of dudes that were hyped all summer, then given zero character development upon main roster arrival, wrestling for no good reason other than “Look at these guys! They’re like real wrestlers, but slightly smaller!”
Why aren’t we having a #1 Contender’s match? Is Brian #1 contender forever? This whole Cruiserweight Division thing has petered out so quickly I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re burying it on purpose.
As for the actual match, I bet it’ll be great fun. These guys are all super talented, Alexander being the one with the most potential to break through the purple-roped ceiling. Sin Cara being the one with the most potential to injure himself. I’d actually like to see Nese and crew win this and set up some feuds or something.
Anything. As it stands, Alexander & Co will probably win and everyone will be all “Look how good the little tykes wrestled! Aren’t they cute? Ok, on with the real show…”