I wish Shinsuke Nakamura would get called up to Smackdown sooner rather than later.
Alright, it’s safe to say AJ Styles had a pretty good first year in WWE. I think it was probably good enough to be considered a VERY good year.
Nah, it was 100% great. Capital G. I know “good” starts with a “g” too, but whatever. Shut up. My point is, I think AJ had the BEST year. He was deservedly WWE Champion for most of the year, never had a bad match, made Ellsworth segments tolerable, finished matches despite tearing his pants, got smooth on the mic in record time, and that Springboard 450 Splash fake out on Orton last week? I know he rolled right back into an RKO, but COME ON, that was the most genius move I’ve seen in years.
Before AJ was allowed to dig in and start destroying Smackdown Live as a whole, he had to take a loss in his first singles match, from Jericho at Wrestlemania. Fair enough, he was led out of the way of “important big guy wrestling” on Raw and placed on the Blue Brand so he could shine, appropriately.
Now, after a year of Styles being excellent and me wearing P1 t-shirts, there’s a really good chance he’s going to fight Shane McMahon, at WrestleMania.
As much as I love Shane O’Mac and his daredevil may care attitude, he’s not on any level near good enough for AJ at Mania. I thought he was perfect as an opponent for The Undertaker but AJ isn’t a 70-year-old goth vest, he’s at the peak of his career. He’s not young, either, so how many of his Manias are we going to waste before he’s the Southerntaker with no streak?
Which is why we need Shinsuke Nakamura as Shane’s Avatar vs. AJ Styles in a match that would 100% steal the entire show.
I wish Nikki Bella were a better actor.
Nikki Bella is dragging this whole program down with her inability to improve at all when it comes to promos. Like, since DAY ONE she’s been a toilet fire when she’s called upon to emote like a human woman. She set Natalya back a decade, who was shaky at best already, just by being around her.
The Miz doesn’t deserve this. He had the best year of his career. He made the Intercontinental Championship seem important again, and he’s a top shelf heel.
Maryse doesn’t deserve this; she’s the been the smartest, most dedicated, and most effective valet in a decade.
Even John Cena doesn’t deserve this. He’s been pretty great this year when he shows up. But at Wrestlemania, just when he’s finally getting interesting again, he’s stuck holding Nikki’s hand and guiding her through a rumoured “last match” retirement thing.
Nikki’s supposed to be the good guy here, so when Miz and Maryse say a bunch of pretty much true stuff about her and John, she stands up to them. The problem is, Nikki standing up for herself and John looks a lot a bully yelling at the nerds because they finally made her look stupid. She’s all frustrated because she's the butt of the wrestling equivalent of a math joke, so all she does is screech and whine and be way too dramatic to be a concerning threat. Other than she’s John Cena’s legal girlfriend.
What makes it worse is this is the ONLY reaction Nikki has to ANYTHING. This should be a fun, inter-gender match for Nikki and John to have during her last hurrah, and Miz and Maryse to sit back and pat themselves on the back for being the ACTUAL WWE power couple. Nikki doesn’t have enough TV shows where she’s the star, so we have to listen to her build this match. It’s rough. And she’s probably going to get a public marriage proposal for her efforts. I hate wrestling.
I wish Daniel Bryan would also fire Randy Orton.
AJ was right to question the motives and logic behind Shane and Daniel and wonder out loud why Randy Orton wasn’t fired for arson. Tom Phillips tried to justify AJ’s termination as “pre-meditated.” I can’t think of anything that’s more pre-meditated than joining the Wyatts, winning the tag belts with them, helping Bray win the WWE Championship, protecting Bray, accepting the keys to Bray’s Kingdom...then burning his house and stuff to the ground.
But AJ was fired for jumping a man who is famous for taking ill-advised beatings. In the parking garage, which is the Second Ring. Being filmed by a company that makes money from assault. Or at least t-shirts promoting assault.
Look, I don’t want either of them fired, but don’t make rules that you don’t follow. If you don’t fire someone for arson, don’t fire someone for assault. Assault is what your company is built on, anyway. Without it, you’re a garbage soap opera. Without arson, you’re, what? Kane-less?
Making rules even more useless, Shane comes out all concussion chic at the end of the show and says “If AJ didn’t have a match at Wrestlemania, he does now!” Prompting Daniel Bryan on Talking Smack to be all “¯\_()_/¯.”
It is not hard to follow the basic rules. Drama class is, so at least Nikki has an excuse.
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