Satire: N Srinivasan thankful for IPL spot-fixing controversy

If sources are to be believed, the recent spot-fixing controversy is the best thing to happen to the IPL viewership.

Faced with a series of uninspiring games (mainly thanks to Pune Warriors), the viewership of the premier cricket tournament was on the wane. But now, thanks to the exploits of the trio from Rajasthan Royals, there is a sudden increase in interest in the sport. “Would you believe it? We were facing declining TRPs, but now everyone wants to watch every game and spot (pun not intended) people with towels! The viewership is through the roof!”, beamed IPL honcho N Srinivasan. “This is the best thing to happen to IPL since Chennai Super… I mean…”, quickly correcting himself, knowing that he was supposed to remain neutral.

“We have a lot to thank Sreesanth for”, said an executive from SET MAX, the official broadcasters of the IPL. “Now, excuse me while I go buy myself a new Bentley”, he winked.

It’s not just the broadcasters and owners of the league who are ecstatic. Relieved media houses and journalists, desperate for a story around the IPL – apart from Dhoni’s ice-cool nature and how terrible KKR’s cheerleader outfits are – have found this as a lifeline.

“This is awesome! Now we can talk about Sreesanth’s errant past, get psychologists to write articles about how attention deficit syndrome leads to such things, do ‘top cricket scandals of all time’-type articles and so much more! This is an absolute goldmine!”, said a reporter from a national daily in total glee.

Purists of the game, as always, say that this is all the IPL’s fault and such rubbish would have never taken place in a Test match.

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In related news, in an attempt to weed out corruption in the game, a BCCI working committee has come out with a novel solution – ban towels.

“Yes indeed. We come from a country where there are madcap solutions for everything. So when there are suggestions going around that rape will be reduced if women stop working, then surely banning towels to signal bookies will totally weed out spot-fixing in the game. How will the spot-fixer know how to signal out to people?”, said a member of the BCCI working committee (which is an oxymoron, by the way).

If reports are to be believed, the same working committee is planning to weed out violent crowds by banning public entry into stadiums, removing no-balls by eradicating the bowling crease altogether and reducing contentious LBW decisions by removing the LBW rule itself (still more likely to happen than the BCCI agreeing to DRS).