[Tracer Bullet] The cricketing abuse and other answers

So you thought Sportskeeda only presented you with cool and funny articles? It has now roped in a pundit who will provide the viewers with “Doctor o’Rdered Solutions (DRS)” (The only DRS approved in India) to all your cricket related problems. This is the first in that series called Tracer Bullet.

Question: I was going through a post on the internet detailing all the words that were considered offensive earlier, but have now been accepted as normal. Are there any words in cricketing parlance which used to be a compliment, but has now come to be considered an abuse?

—– Gali Singh, Bengal

<DRS> Yes. ‘Talented’ and ‘Has potential’. Recently, my boss told me that I was talented and had potential, and all my peers started laughing at me and mocking me. I felt insulted. They compared me with Rohit Sharma. It did not help when my boss later said that he seriously thought I was the most God-gifted employee he had.

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Question: Ravindra Jadeja was surprisingly bought for two million dollars by his IPL franchisee. Given that he had not proved himself enough to deserve that kind of an amount, do you think he could have given some kind of favours to the owners to get himself into the team?

—– Hardik, Chandigarh

<DRS> First of all, I would request the readers to please be more specific in their questions. In this case, it would have helped if you had clarified what exact kind of favour are you alluding to. If you meant sexual favours, then let me point out that this is a decent site, so please refrain from such kind of questions. Also you would do well to know that the owner N Srinivasan is strictly against homosexuality. If you were not referring to sexual favours, then accept my apologies – only this site is decent.

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Question: My son has his English Board exams next week. When I suddenly barged into his room last night, I caught him watching cricket. Its really bothering me. Please advice me. What should I do?

—– Daya, Mumbai

<DRS> First of all, I would like to state that there should be an apostrophe between it and s. Next, I would like to state that it should be advise and not advice. You obviously didn’t study English too well during your time, and still probably missed cricket. Do you know how many Sachin scored in his debut test? Your son would. Now you tell me, was it worth the sacrifice? Do you want your son to become like you? As to what you should do, please knock on his door from the next time.

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Question: There are too many T20 cricket leagues happening around the world, and I figure in all of them. Sometimes, when I wake up, I get confused as to which team I will be representing that day. What should I do?

Name and address withheld.

<DRS> Chris Gayle, is that you? Please don’t send questions from anonymous IDs.

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Question: I am a decent cricketer, but never get picked for my club in any format. I have even become the butt of many jokes. I feel really bad. Should I stop playing cricket?

—– Na Dhyaan Dey, Bangalore

<DRS> No, please don’t stop playing cricket. Try and get in touch with Ajinkya Rahane, as he might have a word of advice for you. Also, it saddens me that you are the ‘butt’ of many jokes. From what I see, you can call yourself the ‘nose’. After all, nobody likes to be seen ‘picking’ his nose.

Do you have any questions for Tracer Bullet? Leave them in the comments and watch this space for the answers.