Satire: Why Gautam Gambhir is anything but a cricketer

Gambhir’s first priority is NOT cricket

Ice Hockey is his first priority, not cricket

Now let me talk about a few of his secrets which do not trend on social media like the deceased chair. Not on the upper right-hand side of my Facebook home page at least. And like most of you, I didn’t know about this either until last year when the Kolkata Knight Riders paid a visit to my college.

While most of us were expecting a tete-a-tete with Gambhir and the team over cricket, the traitor instead talked about ice hockey. Gambhir looked like he was giving a tough competition to Rahul Gandhi when it came to speaking publicly on my campus. Like, seriously?

You come to my college donning the KKR Jersey and go on and on about ice hockey? A sport nobody has even heard of? And then try to educate us about the same? Why would we be concerned about the inadequate funds of an unpopular sport when the Indian Premier League is going on?

Considering his priorities, he should join the ice hockey team instead of wasting time in hopes of getting into the Indian cricket team. If nothing else, the ice will surely melt his overrated anger.

In any case, given his current reputation, I feel Salman Khan will get married before Gambhir’s return to the Indian team.

The guy has given me enough reasons to call him stupid

Not fit for the so-called gentleman’s game?

He played a very crucial role during the 2007 and 2011 World Cup only to later ‘fight’ for a place in the Indian team? Only to be among the top hated cricketers in the country? LOL.

He led KKR to become two-time champions. But his foolish team selection last night cost the team a berth in the Eliminator 2. Gambhir lost my dear team the title this year and I am not forgiving him for this. Not unless he makes me meet the cute Manish Pandey as a consolation.

This guy has constantly proved he is not fit for cricket. It is high time he uses his common sense to follow the footsteps of S. Sreesanth and joins politics. Don’t be surprised if he is seen as an MLA candidate for ‘Khushinagar’ in the next elections.

P.S: This is a satirical piece written in good humor with no intentions of hurting anybody’s sentiments.