Confused at the Eden - When Sir WG Grace decided to watch the IPL final (Satire)
On October 23rd, 2015 Sir William Gilbert Grace will complete a century of years spent in heaven and grand plans are ongoing to celebrate his 100th year in heaven. Sources say Tony Greig and Richie Benaud (who has recently moved there) have been called upon to provide live commentary for all the Test matches leading up to his century.
As a build-up to the centenary celebration, Tony Greig suggested that Sir WG Grace should take a trip to the earthly realm to witness what the locals are call “India ka tyohaar” (festival of India) - Indian Premier League (IPL). Tony was quoted as saying - “Sir, during the days of Kerry Packer I had said - Cricket the world over, I don’t think, will ever know how different things would have been without Kerry Packer. Let me assure you that this is the biggest revolution since the Packer series”.
W.G, as is still is fondly called, liked the idea and decided to go for the final match of the tournament between Mumbai Indians and Chennai Super Kings at the Eden Gardens in Kolkata. Prior to departure he was given a briefing about the format of the IPL and T20 cricket by Richie Benaud and Tony Greig.
It was beyond his imagination that a match could be decided in 40 overs and hence he was pretty excited about it. The organisers in heaven wanted him to be given a seat in the VIP box but W.G wanted to watch the match as a common man in the stands.
Feeling Confused at the Eden
Dressed in his best suit and hat Sir WG Grace reached the Eden Gardens along with his wife as just another spectator. He looked slightly out of place in the colorful crowd around him, but everyone only thought that he was just another crazy fan dying to get the camera’s attention.
WG was aghast to see that gentlemen had come without their blazers and ladies had funky hair covers. Grown up men were blowing trumpets and there were cheer ladies dancing on the boundary lines at the drop of the hats the gentlemen had not worn.
Confused if indeed this was the pinnacle the gentleman’s game had supposed to have reached, he immediately whatsapped English Cricket’s Board’s representative in heaven to confirm if he was in the right place. The representative tracked Sir Grace’s position via GPS and assured him that he was indeed at the cricket stadium.
W.G changed his status on Facelessbook (heaven’s version of Facebook) to – Feeling Confused at Eden Gardens. Tony Grieg immediately commented on the status, warning – “@Sir – soon they will be dancing in the aisles in Kolkata”.
As the match got underway W.G. tried to settle in his seat. When Faf Du Plesis flew like a bird and ran out Parthiv Patel in the first over; W.G. could not believe his eyes. With one wicket gone in the very first over, he thought that things would slow down.
Irritated at mindless approach by the Mumbai batsmen and even their captain Rohit Sharma, W.G. was heard commenting to his wife that these guys had forgotten the basics of giving the first hour to the bowler.
One thing he liked was the concept of a giant screen at the stadium, as it helped him keep pace with the match proceedings. But he did not understand why the crowd went berserk whenever the screen showed a little person dressed in Mumbai Indians clothing, who never went anywhere near the field of action. This would always be followed by chants of “Sachin Sachin” by the crowd.
WG, who had heard tales of the man called Sachin Tendulkar but had waved away as a passing sensation, said to himself, “And I thought I was the most famous cricketer”.
When the match got over and the jubilant Mumbai Indians team raced out to the middle, WG started from his seat in amazement. He said, “What! The match is over? Glad I’m not playing today. This is the amount of time I would have taken to settle down before playing my innings.”
He returned to heaven with a memory to cherish, and told Richie Benaud, “Richie, It was a marvellous experience!”