Green Goggler reporting for duty: Grading the off-season for Jets fans and Idzik
Sometimes bloggers, fans, media members, etc are called ‘homers.’ Well, we’re lucky enough to have a superhero with an ability to hit everything ‘out of the park.’ Thanks to his extraordinary powers, the Green Goggler (who won’t be reveled to protect his identity), comes to OJT to remind fans what loving the Jets is all about. […]
Sometimes bloggers, fans, media members, etc are called ‘homers.’ Well, we’re lucky enough to have a superhero with an ability to hit everything ‘out of the park.’ Thanks to his extraordinary powers, the Green Goggler (who won’t be revealed to protect his identity), comes to OJT to remind fans what loving the Jets is all about.
So far this offseason has been amazing
We may have wanted a cornerback to replace the amazing season Cro had last year, but Idzik knows better. To be honest, and now that my Green Goggles are off when looking at Cro, he f**kin sucked last year. Sure guys Verner, DRC, or some Revis guy would’ve been nice. But we can put out a mostly mentally-challenged spider monkey, opposite Dee Milliner, and he will be just as good or even better than Cro last year. Let me just remind you though, while Cro was a Jet he was second only to Revis, once Revis left he was easily the best CB ever.
1 point Jets Fans, 2 points for Idzik.
Blazed out of the gate to sign Eric Decker—who will not only be a touchdown machine, but also a very sexy machine as well. If I were a machine getting my hair done or waiting in the doctor’s office and reading FMM (For Machines Magazine), Decker would win sexiest machine for both genders. Mostly because in this case, he’s a machine, but also because his sexiness transcends gender. He’s good at other football stuff too. 2 points Idzik, points still being counted for Jets fans as they’re idle with goggly eyes.
Many fans wanted another wide receiver signed ASAP; now, gosh dangit. But NOOoooo, Idzik has to be smart and all-knowing and build through the drAaaft. (Read the previous sentence as if you’re whining like Veruca Salt.)
This does not mean we won’t sign another vet or two later after cuts or could add via trade. This is a good place to put this sentence: as a Jets homer, I know we’re always just one player away from the Super Bowl. Idzik is technically a Jet, so I will support this crazy idea of trying to build sustainable success. Making an actual SB run about every 15 years has been great, don’t get me wrong, but why don’t we try it his way at least for more than a season? 5 Points Idzik, -10 Points Jets Fans
We signed CJ-everyone has their own version of this K. Great. [insert something about dreads here, something clever and funny] Reader you laugh now. 1 Point Idzik, 1 Point Jets Fans
How could I forget the signing of Vick. I’m starting a petition now to ban myself from thinking about Vick, but I won’t sign it. Just let sleeping dogs lie. No reason to beat this issue to death, it’s been talked about at length. Michael served his time so just move one. If he can help Geno, and he can, who are we as JETS FANS to zap his character? Get off your Great Danes and embrace the man. By the way, Idzik did a phenomenal job here! He earned that exclamation point. Vick may have been told this competition will be equal, but he’s not stupid, just injury-prone.
In this case, you can teach an old dog new tricks, and that is of the savvy vet who will play if Geno ‘muddies the bed’ like he did for most of last season. That’s what outsiders would have you believe anyway. Geno pretty much had the best rookie season of any QB ever, in this history of numbers. Was not his fault defenders were standing where he was throwing most of the time, who do these guys think they are? Get out of the damn way this year defenders and give the Jets a chance! (Sorry, got off topic there, my Green Gogglism kicked in.) 2 Points Idzik, 0 Points Jets Fans
In closing I’d like to say that so far Idzik has proven to be the wisest man I’ve ever seen. Besides Joe Namath, of course. Joe is so wise it sometimes sounds like gibberish to us, but it’s like trying to hear God speak—hearing his true voice and words just might kill us.
The Green Goggle Motto…
I love my Rex!
I love my Woody!
I love my Idzik!
and I love my Jets!
The Green Goggler OUT