20 sports teams with the weirdest names

New Orleans Hornets owner Tom Benson speaks at a press conference to unveil the team’s new logo and name on January 14, 2013 at the New Orleans Arena in New Orleans.

Basketball

One of the strangest team names in the NBA is that of the Orlando Magic. As a franchise that gave the league All-Stars such as Shaquille O’Neal, Tracy McGrady and Dwight Howard, it does little to enforce its name as a strong contender. The franchise officials initially gave the community the chance to come up with a name and they received over 4,200 entries. It was narrowed down to ‘Heat, ‘Tropics’, ‘Juice’ and ‘Magic’. If you ask me, all four entries were terrible and one must wonder whether a five-year-old girl screamed in delight when she saw her winning entry on sports channels across all television networks.

Speaking of magic, there’s also the Washington Wizards. Why a team in the capital city of the United States of America would choose a name like the ‘Wizards’ is beyond me. Was it because it too started with a ‘W’? Those who followed the NBA will also know that it was originally called the Washington Bullets (from the original Baltimore Bullets). But after the spurt in gun violence in America, they too held a contest to find some suitable replacements, which were eventually narrowed down to ‘Dragons’, ‘Express’, ‘Stallions’, ‘Sea Dogs’ and ‘Wizards’. Seriously, who judges these contests? (Okay, Stallions was a decent name).

Then there is the Utah Jazz. The team was originally founded in New Orleans, which is the birthplace of Jazz. When the franchise moved to Utah, they retained the name. But the big question is, why would you name a basketball team with physically imposing athletes after a soft music genre? What’s next, the Bronx Hip Hop?

When you name teams after birds, you must ensure that you choose the correct bird. Hawks, Falcons and Eagles are some pretty cool names. But the New Orleans Pelicans? What on earth were they thinking when they picked a clumsy looking water bird with a long beak and a throat pouch? Originally the New Orleans Hornets, which was a decent name if you ask me, the other options to choose from were ‘Brass’ and ‘Krewe’. And they say coming up with baby names is tough.

If you then go halfway around the world and land in the Philippines, you might want to catch a few basketball games in the Philippine Basketball Association. These professional teams are owned by corporate honchos and you will come across teams like San Mig Coffee Mixers, the Rain or Shine Elasto Painters and my personal favourite the Talk ‘N Text Tropang Texters. If you thought that was bad, you might want to skip games from their semi-professional basketball league as well, what with cringe-worthy team names like Nutri-licious Juicers and Mama’s Love.