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It’s Tuesday night and the men of SWB are back at it again. After a grueling two-hour pick up basketball session where a group of Asians beat us and then talked shit to us as we walked off the court, relaxing in front of TV to watch some NBA sounds great. Tonight, it’s the Golden State Warriors and Toronto Raptors.
Josh Biers: It’s been a tough week Tuckness. I could use some cheering up in the form of a Warriors defeat. The Golden State Warriors stand at a flaccid 10-8 and remain second in the pacific division. Not the start you Dubs fans were hoping for was it?
Matt Tuckness: I suppose you’re right, but you know what I love Josh? Teams under 500. You know what I love even more? Eastern Conference teams under .500. Oh wait, that’s pretty much every team in the East. The Warriors may be 10-8 but they are 8-0 against teams under .500. I am excited to watch Steph keep this hot shooting streak going.
Josh Biers: I’m glad you brought that up Tuckness. I really hope you just jinxed them. Do you really feel good about a team that is 2-8 against winning teams? Kyle Lowry gets a triple-double (16-11-11) and DeMar Derozan gets the highlight of the night with a slam in Klay’s face. I’m calling it now, Raptors get the win 102-98 after a costly turnover by Steph in the last minute of play.
Matt Tuckness: Well, I have been pretty bad with my predictions during these running commentaries, but that isn’t going to stop me. Warriors get a convincing 100-90 win. This is their only home game for the next four games. They need to pick up a win tonight and lets hope its an easy one. I am excited to watch the Rudy Gay- Harrison Barnes match-up. Should be interesting to see two very athletic players go head to head. Obviously I want to see Steph rain from three. HOW COULD WE LOSE WITH TYLER HANSBOURGH STARTING!?
Josh Biers ( 2-0 Warriors): Don’t hate on Psycho-T. Curry opens the game up with a nice step-back jumper, maybe your wish comes true tonight Tuckness.
Matt Tuckness( 4-2 Warriors) Lowry is at the line. Fitz busting out the Raptors are last in the league in assists. Are these the Sacramento Black Holes 2.0?
Josh Biers (8-6 Raptors): Jonas Valanciunas with the slam on Andrew Bogut! What a beauty. There was a lot of hype about the Lithuanian but he hasn’t really met those expectations yet. Lowry’s got four points and two rebounds. lets get that triple double!
Matt Tuckness (14-10 Raptors) Bogut is having a rough go of it so far. Valanciunas is killing him in the post. Too many turnovers by the Warrirors. The Raptors are having their way in the paint. It is obvious they want to get the ball down low and have their athletic players(minus Physco-T) get easy baskets. So far it is working. This Raptors squad does not have many shooters. The Warriors need to force them into jump shots.
Josh Biers (14-10 Raptors)- I like Dwayne Casey’s game plan. Bogut likes to play in the paint and he’s having Valanciunas show his range. The big man is abusing Bogut right now and it’s a joy to way. Sloppy overall play by both teams, but Gay is heating up.
Matt Tuckness (21-14 Raptors) Rudy Gay is lighting it up. He just hit two jumpers, including a three which does not bode well for the Warriors. Jermaine!! He responds to Gay’s three by getting a fadaway and-one! Classic Jermaine.
Joshua Biers (21-16 Raptors): Old man O’Neal. I hope his dentures don’t fall out during the game. I can’t believe it. O’Neal has somehow resurrected a career that looked like it was at it’s end in Boston. He’s giving good minutes to Mark Jackson and I’m sure he’s winning over the Warrior faithful. As I say that, he throws it away. That’s more like it.
Matt Tuckness (21-17 Raptors) I am not sure about resurrected his career but he has provided some solid minutes off the bench. The Warriors can not find any offensive momentum right now.
Joshua Biers: (25-17 Raptors): Psycho T! The UNC legend puts in an and-one basket from inside the paint, drawing the foul from gramps. O’Neal had a couple bad sequences with the ball and the Warriors need a timeout right now to stop the bleeding.
Matt Tuckness (33-19 Raptors) Just poor offensive basketball for the Warriors. The Warriors fuel their offense with excellent defense and it has been non-existant so far. That, paired with turnovers and offensive rebounds has them down 17 going into the 2nd.
Joshua Biers (36-19 Raptors): What a sequence of events! I’m loving this right now. Terrence Ross banks in a short floater as the shot clock expires, Kyle Lowry gets the steal and bucket, and to top it all off, Lowry hits a buzzer-beating three as the first quarter ends. Lowry is well on his way to a triple-double, the Raptors are shooting 67% from the field and are absolutely abusing the Warriors on the offensive glass. Tuckness looks a little silly wearing that Warriors beanie.
Matt Tuckness (36-19 Raptors) They need to keep living with the Raptors shooting jump shots. If they keep making them then there is nothing the Warriors can do about it. If the Warriors can’t start forcing some missed shots and getting some rebounds then they are going to continue to struggle to score.
Joshua Biers (38-25 Raptors) Harrison Barnes is picking it up right now. He’s 4/6 for 8 points and it’s been all him so far for the Warriors this second quarter. He’s taking Amir Johnson in the post and doing work. The Warriors are forcing the Raptors to make jump shots and it’s working in Golden State’s favor right now.
Matt Tuckness(38-25 Raptors) Harrison, Harrison! Getting what he wants in the paint right now. Offensive rebounds still hurting the Warriors. On the offensive end, they are determined to get to the paint for lay-ups or fouls. The Warriors should be able to get back in the game if they continue to play strong D. It’s unlikely that the third-worst shooting team in the NBA would continue to shoot 67%.
Joshua Biers (42-32 Raptors): The Warriors have chipped at this lead steadily, but truth be told, they should be close to even with the Raptors. Steph Curry airballed on a fastbreak pull-up. I don’t really mind that shot because he makes it sometimes, but the Raptors are beating the Warriors at all the little things. Derozan just got fouled on an and-one jumpshot and the Warriors failed to box out on the miss, allowing Amir Johnson to put the miss back in for a four-point play. Offensive rebounding is truly the Warriors’ Achilles Heel.
Matt Tuckness (44-32 Raptors) The Raptors are a very athletic team and are doing a great job of protecting the three point line. They are running the Warriors shooters off the line and forcing them into mid-range jumpers. This game has gotten a bit chippy as we have seen four straight possessions go to the foul-line. Make that five as Harrison gets fouled on the drive. I am going to be very upset if I don’t get to see the Warriors bomb some threes.
Joshua Biers (48-37): The Warriors need to make the most of these last four minutes. The Raptors have been stale on offense their last few possessions and Harrison is consistently drawing fouls, although he’s only 1-4 up to now. Every time I see the Raptors gear up for a three-pointer, I see a glimmer of fear in Matt’s eyes as he remembers the horror of Westbrook draining that last second shot the other night in the Warriors OT loss.
Matt Tuckness (48-39) Well now he is 3-6, so take that Josh. I do agree that these final 4 minutes are important for the Warriors. If they can cut this to a five-point game or less it will be huge given how poor they’ve played for the first 20 minutes of this game. I am calling at least two threes from Steph and Klay to close out the quarter.
Joshua Biers (61-42 Raptors): Well. So much for that 4-minute run by the Warriors. Steve Novak has made three 3-pointers from three different spots. It was only a matter of time. Everyone is feeling it as even Johnson hits a long two. The Splash Bros are cold and Klay’s shot is looking flat
Matt Tuckness (65-48 Raptors HALFTIME) It hurts Josh. It hurts so badly. Going into the half down 17 makes any chance of winning look very bleak for the Warriors. I am at a point of disbelief. Amir Johnson is doing his best Lamarcus Aldridge impression. He is hitting mid-range jumpers, shooting sky-hooks with a soft touch and killing the Warriors on the glass. I don’t know what to say, but how is Amir Johnson making anything??? I blame David Lee. Whoever he guards looks like an all-star. I haven’t given up faith because when Steph, Klay and Harrison are on the floor the Warriors could be back in the game in the blink of an eye. Time to be positive and because Josh looks way to giddy over there, even as he washes the dishes.
Joshua Biers (65-48): It takes a man to wash dishes Tuckness. It’s something you would never do. Things couldn’t be going better right now. Everything the Raptors put up has a 60% chance of going in. I don’t think the Warriors will win with those odds against them. I can only hope to see more of their shooting in the second half. I suppose the only reason we should bother watching the rest of this game is to see whether or not the Raptors can score 130+ points.
Matt Tuckness: OK, thats ridiculous Josh. There is no way the Raptors are going to continue to shoot 60%. I can’t see Mark Jackson allowing this team to continue its poor defensive effort. He takes too much pride in his ability to coach defense and this team should be a team with its hair on fire to start the third.
JOSH BIERS JUST MADE TWO OF THE MOST RIDICULOUS STATEMENTS I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. He said that the Lakers are better than the Warriors and get this; they are more fun to watch as well. Are you kidding me. There have been few statements as ridiculous as those two. We won’t argue about it now because this is about the Raptors-Warriors game but you can expect this to be a piece at the end of the week. Classic blind Lakers passion.
Joshua Biers (71-48 Toronto): The Raptors have come out shooting and extended their lead to 23 as Derozan hits two threes in a row. The Warriors are just forcing shots in the hopes that they might do something to staunch this onslaught. The Beanies off!!! Matt’s Beanie is off. That’s a sign of submission if I’ve ever seen one. It’s only three minutes into the third quarter. This could get out of hand really quickly.
Matt Tuckness (75-52) The beanie coming off is not a sign of submission. My beanie was causing the Warriors to get killed. Now they will make a run because it is off. CURRY step back! Give me more Steph Curry 3- pointers. Oh god, Kent Bazemore just came it. Mark Jackson may be waving the white flag. Steph with the AND-1 over pyhsco-T.
Joshua Biers (79-58)- I admit that Steph looks good right now. However, it could be too little too late with only six minutes left in the quarter. Everything is going the Raptors way right now. They’re getting to the line consistently, making all their shots, and dominating the boards. It’s going to take a lot more than some Steph magic for the Warriors to win.
Matt Tuckness(81-58) I haven’t seen a beat down this bad since The Lakers came to town to start the year. I am a defeated man right now. I need somebody on this team to breathe some life into me, so I can defend myself against Josh’s barbs.
Josh Biers (84-64) Those dirty Warriors just gave Lowry a bloody eye! Jerks. The Warriors seem to be on somewhat of a run right now. The Warriors have all the momentum…seemingly since Tuckness stopped wearing his cursed beanie. It’s only superstition if it works..
Matt Tuckness(84-64) Uh-oh Josh. The Warriors are trying to answer my prayers. If they come back and win my head might explode from sheer joy. I may also have to burn this beanie or only wear it on off days for the Warriors. I haven’t decided because I really like it, except when it makes the Warriors lose.
Joshua Biers (88-64): Well, so much for that anticipatory Warriors run. The Raptors are simply feeling it today. The Warriors are letting them take shots that they normally shoot at a low percentage and they’re simply going in. There’s nothing you can do about it. I suspect Mark Jackson will throw in the towel at the beginning of the fourth. If you don’t have Nick Young on your team, there’s no chance of a win when you are trailing by 20 or more.
Matt Tuckness(88-70) I won’t even dignify that Nick Young comment with a response. The Warriors cut it to under 20! What a 6- point run to keep them in the game. Just kidding. I can’t see Mark Jackson playing the starters for more than 4 minutes in the fourth to try and make a run. If they cut it to a single digit deficit in that span he may keep them on the floor to try and steal this one from the Raptors, who have been lights out.
Joshua Biers (92-77) The Warriors are showing life! They have the momentum and the crowd is behind them, but every time they seem to bust out a huge run, the Raptors answer with a basket. Jonas just made a back-breaking floater with 1.8 seconds left on the shot-clock. It’s an 11-point game, 92-81 as David Lee dunks the ball off the sweet dish from gramps.
Matt Tuckness (92-81) And I love it! The Warriors are showing life for the first time all game. The best part about it, the beanie is back on! Let’s go Warriors! I have gone into full fan mode. The Raptors are overplaying the three point line so much right now it is leaving open lay-ups for David Lee and Jermaine. As soon as they start to sag into the lane the Warriors are going to make them pay with a huge 3 pointer.
Josh Biers (94-86)- And a 27-point lead has been trimmed down to 8. Warriors ball after Lowry turns it over with an offensive foul. This sucks.
Matt Tuckness(94-86) Draymond Green made a huge three to cut it to ten and then a big lay-up by D-lee to cut it to 8. Jermaine!! with a huge block, but then two huge turnovers for the Warriors. They need to play perfect to win this game. If they can stop that they just might be able to pull out this win. KLAY!!! with a monster three. five- point game!
Joshua Biers (97-91): Lowry answers with a three of his own, only to have Curry drive in on the next possession, gets fouled and flips up the and one. I was hoping for more of a blowout, but I guess it’s worth watching Matt prance around after every Warrior basket. Do you know when you stub your toe and you hold it and just rock back and forth, thinking that the rocking will make the pain go away? Tuckness is rocking like no other right now.
Matt Tuckness (97-91) The Raptors are on their heels. The Warriors have made a furious rally and pending a Steph free throw this will be a 5 point game. My head almost hit the ceiling after the Klay three and then did on the Steph and-one. I don’t have any higher to leap. Free throw is good and now we have a jump ball. The Warriors are playing some impressive defense. Steph with another big turnover. I can’t take this anymore. The Warriors need to pull this out, so I can always hold it over Josh’s head.
Joshua Biers (99-98 Raptors): I can’t believe this right now. Curry just hit a rainbow three from LA to make it a one-point game. This is unbelievable, the Warriors have absolutely dominated this fourth quarter. Both Klay and Steph have come alive and it just shows that you can’t win a game if both of those players are on fire.
Matt Tuckness(101-99 WARRIORS) FUCK YESS!!!! Steph with back to back threes for the lead. I didn’t think I could love Steph anymore than I already did, but he is showing me how foolish that notion was. Every single Raptors possession has come down to the final seconds of the shot clock. They have forced the Raptors to take tough shots and because of it they have somehow reclaimed the lead! The Lakers are more fun to watch my ass! Klay with another 3 after the Derozan layup. Warriors are up three with the ball!
Joshua Biers (101-99 Warriors) Stop typing so fast asshole. Jerk probably thinks it’s his stupid beanie now.
Matt Tuckness(105-101 Warriors) I put the beanie on to start the 4th quarter and look at the magic that happened. The beanie is the only logical explanation. Great job by Lowry to get to the line. Teams struggling can get themselves right back into the game by getting to the line. Jermaine and David Lee have been excellent on the offensive glass. Something I haven’t seen from the Warriors all year. Although that last ball went off Jermaine’s leg, he has been a force in the paint. Trust me, I never thought I would type that either.
Joshua Biers (106-103 Warriors) The Raptors will get the ball back with 1:09 left in the game. They need to run a half-court set to get a good look. Give it to Lowry or Derozan as they are the only players who have shown some semblance of offensive efficiency this quarter.
Matt Tuckness (109-103) Harrison Barnes with the, wait for it… DAGGER. He hits a huge three to put the Warriors up six inside of a minute. Josh has lost all of the mojo he had when the Raptors were up. Now he looks like he wants to kill me.
Joshua Biers: Wouldn’t you want to kill a moron who jumps around mimicking a dagger going into his heart? Steph hits two free throws to seal this game for the Warriors.
Matt Tuckness (112-103) What an amazing win for the Warriors tonight. They needed this win so badly and they dug deep, down 27 at one point to get the win. They went 8-11 from three in the 4th quarter and outscored the Raptors by 37 points to complete one of the greatest comebacks I have ever seen. I am not sure Josh will be contributing anymore seeing as he just went to bed because he is so mad. I don’t even know what to write myself because I am so exhausted from that emotional roller coaster. All I know is when Josh and I do these running commentaries we get great games. The first OKC buzzer beater and now the 7th greatest comeback in the history of the NBA. I am not sure when we will be able to do another one of these, but we will make sure to pick another great one. BTW, I was only 1 point off my 10 point prediction, but it definitely wasn’t convincing.
