An Everyman Poet Vows To Strip Nude If Sri Lanka Beats India

We’ve had a deluge of attention seeking supermodels vying to shed cloths if their team wins. Even if their team loses, some of them will still sacrifice their modesty for whoever cares. Larissa Riqulme for one. Having vowed to undress if Argentina won, she had no compunctions about dropping her cloths even when Argentina lost, saying that it’s for the people. It is heartening to see such selflessness in these days of greed and debauchery.

Our own Poonam Pandey is willing to relinquish her cloths if India wins. This in spite of opposition from conservative Indians, who are shaking their heads at the fading of the image of the Bhartiya Nari. To them I say: Chill, it has happened before.

Remember when our neighbours from across the sea came and played Shatranj with the Pandavs. The stake being one of our ladies. They won and Vastra haran followed. Or some such sequence. That’s the essence of it, I’m not really up on my mythology.

There is no shortage of pretty girls ready to drop cloths at the drop of a hat. Some of them claim to be able go from fully clothed to nude quicker then you can drop your hat. Blink aur kapde gaayab! Men around the world could not be any happier, appreciative and eager for this form of selfless sacrifice they are witnessing from heavenly forms.

But what of the Ladies?

The girls are missing out on the eye candy from this latest fad. Lost in the flying garments of these supermodels is the fact that there aren’t many men who are willing to think about the opposite sex and return the favour. Think of those selfless girls who are willing to reveal all for their countrymen. And no men doing the same for their countrywomen? A pretty state of affairs! This cannot go on. This could not go on. One man had to step up.

Ek Mard, Ek Pakka Mard, Jiske Rago Me Kahulta Khun Behta Hai, Who Ab Chup Nahi Rahega.

Enter Poet Pyarelal Popat, (Poo to friends). Poo is just another guy, when you look at him from the outside. He is a halwai by morning, a taxi driver by day and a poet by night. But it’s what is on the inside that counts. And he has no qualms whatsoever about showing what’s on the inside. And he is a budding poet to boot. Read on to see his intentions in his own words:

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To see a brave lass part with her robe,and show her body parts untouched by Adobe.It takes guts, even if there’s been a deluge of such.

It warms my heart (among other parts) to see such sacrifice.Jokes apart, *pfft*, excuse the fart. It ain’t just a treat for the eyes.

My baby!I may be a trifle hirsute.I may be a little rotund.Baby! I don’t wear no suit,Don’t got no mutual fund.

Nahi Hun Weight lifter.Nahi Hai Pate Pichka.But my heart is big, sir.My inner glow is lit far.

I may be your candid, next door guy,whom you won’t notice when you pass in the street.It’s a boring, not dandy, trade I ply.But you can’t miss me when I pass gas replete.

Pfft. Prrat. Puff. Phadak. Phusss.Yehi hai meri pehchan. Khush?

Now I can’t stand by and watch a win of the Lankswithout having one step up from within our ranks.And to give something, not just roses, to show our thanks.To those lanky lasses who strike poses in naughty stance.

For our lady dosts I’ll gyrate.Without my cloths (Hye Re!)Baby! Have your fill of this Adhnanga if Sri Lanka beats India.Bhari Mehfil Me Naachunga| Pehen Ke Sirf Payal Aur Laga Ke Bindiya|

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He is an Indian. When India wins, he’ll go back to his daily life. But if India loses, to console the collective bleeding hearts of the India female population, Mr. Pyarelal Popat will, between passing wind, throw caution to the winds and reveal the hitherto hidden charms of his curvaceous person for the public eye.

You lucky ladies! You!

Pyrelal Popat realizes that he’d be remiss if he didn’t show the girls some taste of what is to come. He isn’t willing to show a pic of his real body. Probably doesn’t want to give anything away too soon. Don’t fret. He has released a drawing of his self image. Eat your heart out, girls.

Pyarelal Popat ‘Poo’, flying through the air in his self-portrait. He says he looks even better in person *wink wink! swoon!*

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Mard Ko Dard Nahi Hota! Par Sard Jaroor Lag Sakti Hai. Poo Khate Peete Ghar Ke Aadmi Hai, Par Unko Thand Se Mukabla Jachta Nahi Hain. Bina Kapdo Ke Sardi Lag Sakti Hai.

Men in Blue, Krypya Aisee Naubat Na Aane Dena Ki Hum Mardo Ko Bina Vastra Ke Poo Ko Dekhna Pade. Please.Apologies to the ladies, I know you want him more of him. Who wouldn’t?