Humour: 4 tips Sachin Tendulkar gave Umesh Yadav after being approached to mend batting skills

Some top-secret information has been leaked after a reporter from 'Farce News' eavesdropped on a conversation between Umesh Yadav and his manager. If reports are to be believed, Umesh's sorrow of not being picked in the side was aggravated when he came to know about a new dictate of the team management.

Following India’s repeated batting collapses in South Africa and the gamble of playing Hardik Pandya paying off, the duo of Kohli and Shastri has come up with a plan. In line with Shastri's famous 'horses for courses' theory, it has been decided that from now on only those bowlers will be included in the side who can help the team with the bat.

After a couple of sleepless nights, Umesh approached Master Blaster Sachin Tendulkar to improve his batting. Here are the four tips that the Little Master gave him.

Disclaimer: This article is a work of fiction. Please don't take it seriously.

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#1 Convince the better half

Kohli and Anushka married on 11th December last year

After Virushka's wedding, Rohit Sharma cheekily tweeted-

Congratulations you two! @imVkohli , I’ll share the husband handbook with you. @AnushkaSharma , keep the surname 😏

— Rohit Sharma (@ImRo45) December 12, 2017

Anushka liked it so much that she promised Rohit a confirmed spot in the playing XI of all three Tests in South Africa.

Hahaha thanks Rohit! 🙏😊 And congratulations on your splendid innings 👏 https://t.co/xeo9whyx8T

— Anushka Sharma (@AnushkaSharma) December 13, 2017

Sachin revealed that after Kohli's marriage a quota system has come in place whereby team India is bound to include two 'Sharmas' in the playing XI of every match. While Ishant and Rohit have benefited from this novel scheme, players like Umesh have had to bear the brunt.

Tendulkar proposed that if Umesh can convince Anushka to recommend him, he may be considered for future tours. He reiterated that she is the one calling the shots pertaining to team selection.

Note: This slide is a work of fiction and the writer didn't mean to hurt any sentiments.

#2 Simulate Pandya

Hardik Pandya is Captain Kohli's favourite

The Little Master further advised Yadav to dye his hair and try to look as similar to Hardik Pandya as possible. Sachin believes that Kohli has a knack of picking players that look similar to the all-rounder.

The God of cricket also advised him to copy Pandya's fidgety style of batting. Tendulkar told Umesh that he must go after the spinners from ball one and try to hit them out of the park every time they come in to bowl.

#3 Train more than Kohli

Kohli trains the hardest in the team

Umesh is determined and does not want to keep any stone unturned to make a comeback. To achieve this, Sachin has suggested Yadav to spend an hour more than Virat Kohli in the nets daily.

Even when this article was being written, Umesh was seen doing shadow practice against spinning deliveries, long after Kohli had departed. Only the groundsmen could be seen waiting at a distance for Umesh to complete his training session so that they could go home.

#4 The best shot is the one left unplayed

Let the bowler and the keeper do all the hard work

After seeing Umesh's video footage, Sachin counselled that he has the best chance to score if leaves maximum balls and makes minimal use of the willow. He must keep leaving the ball unless it is directed towards his body.

This way the bowlers would get frustrated and bowl loose deliveries. He could then exhibit his batting prowess by capitalizing against those balls.

After the untiring efforts of Umesh Yadav, Ishant Sharma and Jasprit Bumrah are also expected to follow his footsteps.