“I felt crushed” - Ravichandran Ashwin on Ravi Shastri terming Kuldeep Yadav India's no.1 overseas spinner

Team India off-spinner Ravichandran Ashwin has admitted that he felt ‘crushed’ after Ravi Shastri termed Kuldeep Yadav India’s no.1 overseas spinner following the latter’s five-fer in Sydney in 2019.

Kuldeep bagged a five-wicket haul in the rain-affected New Year Test in Sydney. While the match ended in a draw, India clinched a historic Test series win Down Under. Following the triumph, then head coach Shastri proclaimed that “there is a time for everyone (referring to Ashwin's fitness and injury issues). But now Kuldeep is our frontline number one overseas spinner”.

Asked how he felt about Shastri’s comments, Ashwin candidly told The Cricket Monthly that it was not a great thing to hear. The seasoned off-spinner said:

“I hold Ravi bhai in high esteem. We all do. And I understand we all can say things and then retract them. In that moment, though, I felt crushed. Absolutely crushed. We all talk about how important it is to enjoy your team-mates' success. And I was happy for Kuldeep. I have not been able to get a five-for but he has a five-for in Australia. I know how big it is. Even when I have bowled well [at other times], I haven't ended up with a five-for.”

He added that it was tough for him to deal with the feeling of "being thrown under the bus". Ashwin further said about Shastri’s comparison between him and Kuldeep:

“...If I have to come and partake in his (Kuldeep’s) happiness, and the success of the team, I must feel like I belong there. If I feel like I am being thrown under the bus, how am I supposed to get up and come for a party to enjoy the team's or team-mate's success? I went back to my room and then I spoke to my wife. And my children were there. So we were able to, you know, shrug it off, and I still made it to the party, because, end of the day, we had won a massive series.”

Ashwin played a key role in the Adelaide win during that tour, claiming six wickets in the Test, bowling with what turned out to be a grade three abdomen tear. He, however, lamented that his contribution seemed pretty much forgotten by the time the final Test in Sydney was over.

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“I contemplated retirement for a lot of reasons” - Ravichandran Ashwin

While Ashwin surprisingly did not play a Test during the tour of England earlier this year, he made a surprise white-ball comeback during the T20 World Cup in the UAE and Oman. He was also adjudged the Player of the Series during the Tests against New Zealand at home.

In a shocking admission, though, Ashwin revealed that he was pondering retirement until as recently as 2020. Opening up on the reasons behind his thoughts on giving up the sport, the off-spinner said:

“Between 2018 and 2020, I contemplated giving up the sport at various points. I thought, "I have put in a lot of effort, but it is not coming through." The harder I tried, the farther it felt. I contemplated retirement for a lot of reasons. I felt like people were not sensitive enough to my injuries. I felt like a lot of people were backed, why not me? I have done no less. I have won a lot of games for the team, and I am not feeling backed.”

Ashwin added:

“I don't usually look for help, that somebody needs to back me, that somebody needs to cushion me or give me empathy. I felt I was not being able to be excellent and felt I needed a shoulder to lean on. It was not happening. I thought maybe I should try to find something else and be excellent at that.”

Having gone past Harbhajan Singh’s (417) tally of Test wickets during the home series against New Zealand, Ashwin (427) needs eight wickets to surpass Kapil Dev (434) and move to no.2 on the list of Indians with most Test scalps.