Dear all,
First of all, Congratulations! We have won! And all because of my red card — it blazed the forwards into doing something like Thomas and Martha Wayne’s death forced the people of Gotham into taking action. It also gave us the greatest comic book character of all time — Batman. My red forced Cristiano into scoring. He is our Batman.
I said after the game, quoting myself here, "if I had realised what would happen with one player less, that we'd have won with the sending off, I'd have got myself sent off in the fifth minute." And I honestly meant that, and it is something I would most probably do in the next Clasico.
I have been criticized by a lot of guys for my reckless behavior on the field. They say that I like red cards, but they are wrong. I love them!
Ever since I was born, I was intrigued with the colour red. The colour of blood is red, hence, we are made of red. And it is for this reason that I wanted to make a career as a bullfighter—where I get to wave the red flag at bulls—but my mother didn’t allow me.
So I chose the next best alternative: football, a game where they show red cards.
And that’s how my journey began. In the beginning, I used to smash kids and get sent off within seconds. Then the coach dropped me and that’s when I realized that I have to become a decent player to in order to make history with red cards.
So I worked hard to become a decent defender who scored goals and hence fell into the limelight, which made me highly—and overly—rated by many.
They say that I am tarnishing my legacy at Real Madrid with these constant red cards. Well, they don’t even know what they are saying. My intention was never to become a legend with Real Madrid, it was to become a legend with red cards.
People who think that I should stop being reckless so that I am remembered for my stoppage time equalizer against Atletico Madrid in the 2014 Champions League—that we eventually won—are naïve. I mean, 20 years later—when we will have won a few more Champions Leagues—when people are asked who was responsible for the 10th, most will probably not even know that I scored the equalizer in a crunching situation.
Don’t believe? Okay, tell me, who scored the first goal in our 1966 European Cup triumph without getting any assistance from Google?
Yes. Thought so.
However, even a 100 years later when people are asked about who has the most number of red cards in the history of Real Madrid, they will instantly say my name. That is what I want; that is a true legacy.
And the best part? 99.9% players that will pay for Real Madrid in the future wouldn’t want to break my record because nobody has the guts to have the same aspirations as me. Future players will target most goals, assist, clean sheets and so on, but none will want to get the most number of red cards.
I love red cards more than I love my mother. Whenever I fall into depression and contemplate on the purpose of life, it is my red card montages that keep me going and show me the true purpose of my life.
And this is where I win. And this is why I continue to do what I do right now.
Oh, I almost forgot to mention, contrary to popular belief, Messi, who was reported missing and Barca filed a search request to the police, was seen in his home in Barcelona this morning after being held captive by Casemiro’s pocket for the whole of last night. Poor fella just lost the tan he gained from his international break trips to South America.
Yours truly,
Sergio Ramos.
