Indian Cricket ‘Analysts’: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

It is a great time to be a cricket analyst these days on Indian television. What with the splurge of the broadcast media in our country and the interest the game of cricket holds, ‘analysts’ of the game are in great demand. Be it English, Hindi or regional, all channels have ‘special’ cricket shows where these analysts sit and ponder over the various facets of the game. All this sounds good, but like I had mentioned in my last write-up as well, this recent splurge in the cricket analysts everywhere does take its toll on the sane mind. Listening to sound advice can be good, but when it comes like the humming of a swarm of bees, it can get irritating.

The other day I even saw little known ex-Indian cricketer Reetinder Singh Sodhi appearing as an ‘expert’ in a cricket show. Clearly it is the best time to be a ‘cricket expert’ these days. I hence try and pick out some of the good, the bad and the ugly figures from this sea of cricket analysts everywhere. Note that these choices are completely mine, and you may or may not agree with me.

The Good

Kapil Dev: The ‘dil se khelo’ guy. There is something reassuring about listening to Kapil Dev. He does criticize when it is required, but not for the heck of it. I remember an anchor asking him once, “Why do you think Dhoni didn’t talk to his bowler? He should be more responsible.” A visibly peeved Kapil retorted, “How can you, sitting in the confines of an A.C. room, know why the captain did what he did?” This was not a one-off incident and Kapil has been known to put anchors asking idiotic questions in their places. Appreciative, insightful and always looking at the brighter side of things; that’s what Kapil Dev as a cricket analyst offers. I so wish we had more of his kind.

Atul Wasan: This little known ex-Indian cricketer is another one of my favourites when it comes to analysing the game. Like Kapil, he is very insightful and never goes overboard with his emotions whether we win or lose. During our team’s recent debacles, he was one of those rare few individuals who kept repeating to “have patience with these guys and they will deliver”. No matter how much the anchors might needle him to get a negative comment; Atul is always level-headed even in his criticisms of players. The thing that I like the best about him is his positive outlook and that he always looks at things in perspective.

Ashok Malhotra: Another ex-Indian cricketer, Ashok is generally seen in some Hindi cricket shows. He has the qualities of both the above mentioned analysts and has the added advantage of being witty and funny. His criticisms are no-holds barred and fun to watch; I especially remember him tearing down Ajit Agarkar relentlessly. Apart from this, he is one of those rare few whose predictions about team compositions and results are correct more often than not.

The Bad

Navjyot Singh Sidhu: Known more for his ‘Sidhuisms’ these days than his capabilities as a cricketer, Sidhu is exactly what you don’t want in a cricket analyst. He mostly goes with the public mood on the happenings in Indian cricket and is highly overboard in his praises or his criticisms of players. Plus his constant barrage of ‘Sidhuisms’ can get on your nerves as most of the time he talks everything except cricket. I suggest he should join the ‘Art of Living’ people; would surely bring them good business.

Nayan Mongia: He might have been a fine keeper in his playing days, but his analysis of the game leaves a lot to be desired. Another one of those analysts who believe in going with the public sentiments rather than speaking what is right or true. The last time I had ‘cared’ to listen to him was when he criticized Sachin Tendulkar’s captaincy, saying Sachin expected everyone to play like him and never understood the player’s deficiencies. Even if this atrocious statement were true, it shouldn’t have been uttered on a public platform, especially considering the person he was talking about. That was sheer disrespectful. I never listen to him since.

Maninder Singh: I call him the ‘hairaan-pareshaan’ guy. He uses these words the most when analyzing the game in a Hindi chat show (Used them the most when Rahul Dravid was the captain.) This ex-Indian off-spinner has a bagful of criticisms for every Indian cricketer. Even our victories don’t seem to satiate his thirst, as he frequently manages to find fault in them. Considering that he was known to have heated arguments with umpires and fights with his team-mates, I don’t think he is one ideal analyst one should listen to.

The Ugly

Vinod Kambli: He is remembered more for being Sachin’s ‘chaddi -buddy’ and for his infamous emotional ‘downpour’ after India’s World Cup ’96 semi-final loss to Sri Lanka, rather than his cricketing abilities. Kambli’s cricket analyzing skills, or the lack of it, is something very easily noticeable. He is always on the boil, spewing loads of spit everywhere as he speaks and more often than not seems to be on the verge of an emotional breakdown. He hardly speaks on relevant and sane topics and is way too off-track. A friend of mine who recently heard his drawling on TV told me that after India’s recent loss against Pakistan, Kambli said he wanted to take a bat and hit it on his head. I wouldn’t have really minded that to be honest.

Mohammad Azharuddin: This tainted Indian ex-cricketer was undoubtedly a very fine player, but a cricket analyst he is not. He is like your grumpy grandfather who is not happy about anything that is happening around him. He will hardly smile even if we are talking about a World Cup victory and is never ever happy with the team. He has a special bone to pick with M.S. Dhoni it seems, as he is always after his head and hardly praises the team even in good victories. The other thing that goes against his favour is his speech delivery; it would seem as if it’s a fly buzzing around your ears who you want to swat away. I just swap the channels.

Bishen Singh Bedi: This former India cricketer was a very fine off-spinner, but to listen to his unbelievably negative drawls on Indian cricket gets on my nerves. He is quite the extension of Azhar in his analysis and unlike him speaks very articulately. But the negativity he exudes will even make spiritual leaders like Ravi Shankar go grumpy. If one were to listen to Bedi all day it would seem our team is the worst in the world, and for the next 100 years we would remain so. Again, one of those people who would hardly praise the team even in victories and is hell-bent on getting every member of the team, the BCCI and even the fans thrown away from the country. In fact it seems to me sometimes that he relishes our losses as it gives him more chances to complain and accuse. I suggest he should be the Loksabha speaker (with due respect to Meira Kumar); it is a tailor-made job for him.

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There are of course many others who can be included in all the three above-mentioned lists, but then that would be unnecessary. Being an ardent Indian cricket fan, all I want is to listen to some sane-minded people who know what they are saying. That in fact adds another dimension towards loving this game. I always say criticism should be done, but somewhere a line has to be drawn to not go overboard with it. Hopefully, our public would soon select its own version of the good analysts from the bad and the ugly ones, and the latter ones would quickly fade away into oblivion. Amen to that!