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Being a mother is one of the most complex and yet fulfilling roles. However, many mothers may experience stay-at-home mom depression as a consequence of various triggers in their environment.
While we encourage mothers to take up responsibilities and duties, it's equally essential for us to look after their health. In the midst of handling everything, mental health of mothers often gets ignored. Stay-at-home mom depression is a common mental health concern that can be experienced in any phase of life.
Whether it's pre- and post-pregnancy while bringing up young children or taking care of adult children, women can experience stay-at-home depression.
What's stay-at-home mom depression?
While we appreciate mothers for their pregnancy journey, we can sometimes forget the amount of work post-birth.
Depression may not always be explicit and can insidiously creep into a mother's life. For some there's a clear trigger, like the initial transition to motherhood, but sometimes there's an unclear trigger, for instance a family history of mental illness.
The expectations of a stay-at-home mother are often many. On one hand, some are expected to take care of the child or children, and on the other, take care of the house (sometimes also handling employment at the same time).
This dual burden has surely become the norm today but can have consequences for the mother's health. The symptoms of stay-at-home depression may include intense feelings of hopelessness and helplessness accompanied by persistent sadness and other negative emotions.
How would you perceive a mother experiencing these symptoms? It's essential to note that if a woman does experience these symptoms, it does not make her an imperfect mother or the one who can't 'perfectly' fulfill her mom duties. It just makes her equally vulnerable like any of us.
How to overcome stay-at-home mom depression?
There's not a single solution to stay-at-home mom depression. It's often a combination of multiple factors and takes time and effort to make a tool kit for the mother.
Perhaps the most important step is recognizing that stay-at-home mom depression exists. People often shrug of mental health concerns that do not show up in the DSM, but that does not make them less important.
If you're a mother or you know someone who has this depression, it's important to start conversations around this. Once you share experiences, you will be surprised to know about so many others who are going through similar feelings and thoughts. There are many women struggling with the symptoms of postpartum depression, who often remain to go through a silent internal struggle.
A mental health professional can equip you with self-care strategies and prioritze yourself. That can be especially difficult, as mothers are revered for being self-sacrificing, but no one can continue to pour from an empty cup.
What's so difficult about being a stay-at-home mom?
Many women choose to be a stay-at-home mother because of its fulfilling and intrinsically motivating nature. However, it's much more harder than one can imagine.
Stay-at-home mom depression is often pervasive in nature. It affects self-care, identity as a mother and even everyday functioning. What's perhaps the most demotivating part of being a stay-at-home mom?
It's the lack of recognition for the work one does. While times are changing and we're seeing women talk about their rights and work on their values, many still don't have an opportunity to do the same.
One of the key factors influencing stay-at-home mom depression is loneliness that comes with it. It can either be a consequence or one of the causes of stay-at-home mom depression.
There can also be stark comparison between what a mother can do before and after having children. She may experience a decline in opportunities not only in meeting others but also for herself.
As much as we appreciate mothers for taking on their pregnancy journey, we must also take out time to acknowledge their roles and responsibilities.
Remember that if a mother's health is affected, it also has an impact on everyone in the family. Stay-at-home depression is not the only concern that puts a mother's health at risk, so it's best to keep an eye out for their deteriorating health.
Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.
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