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Betrayal trauma is not an offcial diagnosis given by mental health professionals. However, it's now being widely recognised as a significant type of mental health concern.
Humans are social beings, who rely on others for support, love and care on each other. When this feeling of love and nurturance goes away, we're often left with a sense of betrayal and loss.
Trauma is subjective in nature. What seems like trauma to you may not be the same for another. As humans, we can break trust more often than think, but when it's significant, the body can encode the event as trauma, leaving us with lasting psychological effects from the experience.
This effect can also manifest as psychological disorders like complex post traumatic disorder.
What is betrayal trauma?
Betrayal trauma not only alters your perspective of other people, it also has profound repercussions on your self-concept.
Eric Erikson, an American psychologist, described various psycho-social stages to development. The first one is called trust v/s mistrust. This is the base on which the development of a person's personality takes place.
A lack of trust destroys the sense of personal safety that's necessary for engaging in close personal relationships. When viewed from this angle, it's simple to comprehend why a person might find it difficult to feel at ease in a romantic connection after having their trust violated by the other party.
Betrayal trauma shakes both the individual and the relationship to their very core. When a person finds out that someone they trusted with their whole heart lied to them, it causes them to doubt everything, including who they're as a person.
Identifying effects of betrayal trauma
Betrayal trauma is the loss or distress experienced when someone close to you betrays you. That could be a friend, partner, spouse, friend or family member. Yes, even betrayal by a friend or business partner can have a significant impact on your psyche.
The primary effect of trauma on a person is a pervasive sense of grief. We experience grief when we experience a loss. It often comes with a wave of sadness and anger and can be difficult to make sense of. If not taken care of at an early stage, these emotions can also metamorphose to signs of major depressive disorder or post traumatic stress disorder .
The secondary effect of trauma is that your perception of yourself, others and the world can change drastically. For instance, you may hold yourself responsible for the other person leaving or cheating on you.
Or, you may see others as hollistically 'bad' and fear from forming other relationships. Finally, you may see the world as an unfair and unsafe space to live in.
Healing from betrayal trauma
The first step you can do is to take a break, which that can help you acknowledge what has happened between the two of you. You might be too confused to start talking to people around you, which is fair, but take as much time as you need.
The importance of accepting what has occurred cannot be overstated. If you continue to deny and suppress the betrayal you experienced, the turmoil you're going through will start to show up in other areas of your life.
It could have an impact on your other close connections, as well as your academic and professional life. There's a possibility that it could influence your relationship with yourself.
Therapists who specialize in trauma therapy may suggest many approaches to assist you in healing. There's a good chance that many of your assignments will encourage you to process your feelings and emotions. Your therapist may suggest that you keep a diary to jot down your thoughts and feelings as a means to assist in your recovery from the trauma you have experienced.
You can also be advised to sign up for a support group so that you can get together with people who're going through something comparable to what you are. The first step in processing what you've been through is building your self-confidence so that you know you can safely express yourself.
Betrayal trauma has an impact on one's sense of self-worth, view of reality as well as the security of the connection.
However, there're ways to re-build this connection and foster your happiness. Even though you may be experiencing a spiral of thoughts and emotions, it's only fair to allow yourself time to process the betrayal trauma.
Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.
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