Satire: When the God of cricket saved Novak

Of late, Djokovic, it seems, has made it a habit. He fights from the brink; saves match points; leaves it to the last set to win most of his crucial matches and tournaments.

When asked by the press reporters as to how he ends up doing it regularly, thereby bringing his fans to the edge of their seats, the Serb revealed his secret, letting the world know the truth:

“I honestly do not want to take the entire credit for this. I have been branded “arrogant” by many tennis fans all over the world, and have been hated for the way I go about doing my victory celebrations. So, in order to overcome the villainous image, I had to do something that a hero in any Indian movie would do (atleast they are blessed with stunt artists who does it for them). But, in tennis I cannot fool around, as no one else can play for me. So, as I was ruminating over how to become a hero in the eyes of tennis fans, I happened to watch some cricket matches in which India was involved. It was then that M.S.Dhoni became my mentor, and after seeing him bat, I understood what it took to become a hero. He took all the matches to the last over through some intelligently crafted snail-paced batting and won it from there, providing the much-needed thrill for the spectators. By doing this regularly, he has attained the status of a hero in India. This made me realise – if he could do it, then why not I? So, I have also started stretching my matches till the very end, and have made a habit of winning the point when the opposition is on match point. I owe it to Dhoni fully.”

The press reporters shot back saying: “ You cannot do that Novak. Atleast in cricket, even if he bats slowly, there are others around him who can score runs in between, which gives him the luxury of taking it to the last ball. In your case, it is rather risky to do that. Why don’t you recognise that?”

Answering this question, Nole refuted: “ Yes, I know the risk factor is much higher for me than it is for Dhoni. But what can I do? I cannot resist the urge to continually imitate others. This is my habit. I have imitated almost all the tennis stars, and since there is no one left to imitate now, I feel bored. My attention, therefore, has switched over to cricket, and by following Dhoni’s footsteps, I am back to doing what I do best (imitating sportsmen) while also attaining a hero status.”

Listening to Nole’s press conference, MSD went livid. He was fuming because Djocker has copied his success formula without consulting him. Through his lawyer, he filed a notice which ran for five pages against the Serbian world No.2, the abridged content of which is as given below:

“It is clear that you have breached the patent rules and copied the success formula of my client, M.S.Dhoni. He is completely annoyed and depressed listening to what you have done. If you want, you can settle this dispute amicably with my client. For violating his copyright laws, you are requested to pay him all the prize money which you have earned in the tournaments wherein you overcame match points to win. To be specific, the prize money which you received from the 2010 and 2011 US Open, the 2012 French Open, and the 2012 Shanghai Masters should be handed to my client. Failing to do the same within five days of the receipt of this notice will result in legal action taken against you.”

Djoker got worried after reading this notice. He had no clue what to do. It was then that a friend of his told him that there was a GOD in India whose name was Sachin Tendulkar. They told him that if he appealed to the God, then his prayers would be answered. So, Novak immediately called up the great master requesting for a solution. Tendulkar soothed the Serb, asking him not to worry and ensuring that everything would be taken care of.

A legal notice was received by Dhoni and this time it was sent by Sachin Tendulkar’s lawyer, with the document spreading for more than 100 pages, the shortened version of which is given below:

“My client, Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar, accidentally played a shot during the 2003 World Cup, and it was supposed to be his possession. But you have infringed the trademark rules by copying this shot, also giving it a new name called the ‘Helicopter shot’. In fact, you are using it in each of your matches, not only for scoring boundaries and sixes, but also for taking singles and running twos at times. Most of your runs have come from this shot, which you usurped from my client. You have never acquired permission from him. Therefore, you are requested to surrender the entire fees from the matches in which you have deployed this helicopter shot. Failing to adhere to the same will result in legal action taken against you.”

This came as a huge shock for MSD, because he could not recollect one single match where he did not play this particular shot. He would have to surrender the entire money he had earned so far playing cricket. So he begged for mercy from the God of cricket himself. Sachin argued that only when the legal notice sent to Nole was withdrawn, he would withdraw his own.

Dhoni released Nole of the notice, and the Serb, thanking the God, restarted his journey, fighting back from the brink yet again.

Disclaimer: This article is a piece of fiction and should be taken in humour.